When to break-up with someone? I’ve been dating my gf for 6 years (2 long distance 1yr on a break and 3 living together. Nothing terrible about the relationship but I’m not happy and no longer feel in love. I’ve tried working it out but haven’t felt the relationship has gotten any better. I feel at this point the best thing to do for both of us is split (she shouldn’t be with someone that can’t love her fully). So here’s the options continued…

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You don’t time breakups. Get it over with first. Let her soak it in and hear her concerns.
For all you know she would give 2 sh*ts about your offer. She’ll want to get out of it and figure it on her own. If she asks for help, once it’s all on the table discuss how to go about it.

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I dated a girl for 8 years and fell out of love. We lived together as well (she moved into my condo). It should have ended after year 1, but I didn't have the balls to do the deed.

Breaking up was the most difficult thing to do but also the best thing. Once you do it, break off all contact. It's for the best.

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That’s called the turkey drop. Happens all the time in MBA programs. Six years is a long time though…seven and you would have been forced to marry in most cultures. Good job Leonardo

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Yea we’ve talked about it a few times. Also went and talked to a counselor over the summer. Yea I am concerned about giving unfettered access to the apartment while I’m gone.

If you both have already talked about it, it is not going to be surprising for her when you break up with her. Don’t worry if it’s going to be now or later; the decision on your end is already taken. Just focus on the best option for the lease and apartment accommodations. She can get a part-time job and pay for the rent and her other expenses. I had to do that, my ex-boyfriend (a doctor) left the house; he paid for everything, and after he left, my salary didn’t cover all the expenses, so I had to work another job, and I survived for 6 months until the lease was over.

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Or…..

You do it right away. You aren’t doing her or yourself any favours by waiting for the “right” moment. There is no such thing. Grow a pair and get it over with!

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Do it as soon as possible don't waste any more of her time by finding the "right" time to break up. Just do it if you're not happy.

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I think that is very well thought out and you’re doing the right thing. I applaud your honesty and courage as it’s not an easy thing to do.

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I’m in school for my MBA and paying for everything through student loans. She is working but not making enough to live on her own in the area this is her first job and doesn’t have a year of experience yet so would probably be difficult to find same job if she moves. I’m thinking of breaking up right before thanksgiving (potentially awkward), right after the semester ends in December (I’m going back home after and then studying abroad till March so thinking she could still stay in the apt working and then move out before I get back), or I could break up after graduation (clean break as I’d be heading back home). What would you do in this situation?

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This is a moving conversation not a break up conversation. You need to talk with her about it.

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Or if you are too concerned about her not having money to pay rent, make an arrangement and keep paying a portion of it; make sure her account is set up for direct deposit, and you send her your portion until you get back.

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Not an easy decision, but would definitely not delay the decision for after graduation. That wouldn’t be fair to her.

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