Why doesn’t my boyfriend value me? I feel like he doesn’t appreciate me the way he should. I consider myself to be a kind, intelligent, successful, and beautiful woman. I doubt he could find anyone remotely like me. I notice how other girls on Instagram are treated like queens with regular nice dates, flowers, and thoughtful gestures. I just don’t get it

likefunny
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“I doubt he could find anyone remotely like me”. 🚩 1

“I notice how other girls on Instagram…” 🚩 2

likesmartfunny

instagram is not reality

likesmart

Lol and the rest I guess is history

Let's see a pic so we can judge on the beautiful part.

funnysmart

That is a product manager's response for you. Lol
Product appraisal

Could you elaborate more on the appreciation and value?

Are you comparing yourself to women in IG?
Have you built your persona similar to those women on IG in hopes you get the same attention?

This is either a huge red flag from your end or the social media algorithm has fooled you into thinking this is what men want.

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The fact that you say he can't find anyone like you, says a lot about you and how you view your relationship. Do you think he's not good enough for you? Or youRe too good for him? I mean unless you have a twin or something then you're just stating the obvious, well that's an empty meaningless statement that serves no purpose

And if you're using that excuse for the reason as to why you deserve more appreciation, then Its best you exit that relationship cuz you're headed straight to an unnecessary broken heart searching for a figment of your imagination and inevitably breaking his heart for no reason simply because you're expecting him to give you something that doesn't exist.

Going off of just what you stated in your post you haven't said anything that says you deserve whatever appreciation it is that you're looking for as seen on Instagram. You're pretty much saying he doesn't value you and you deserve appreciation for being the other person in the relationship. And if that's the case then that means he should be getting the same.

If you're serious about the pics you see on Instagram and wanting that to be you. You're asking the wrong question. Instead of saying why he doesn't value you, you should be asking what did those women do to get treated like that. And then follow those footsteps. put into consideration that people on Instagram are in different stages of life so say somebody just starting in a relationship of course it's going to get feeling like a queen and all these gifts especially if she just got into a relationship with an abuser that she's unaware of at the moment because they're in the Head over heels phase.
Some of those women could be sugar babies getting whined and dined or even escorts getting paid for their company. Some of them could have been in long-term relationships and is wifing it after many many years of ups and downs and struggles and conflicts and fights and through thick and thin. Don't rule it out that he can't provide that for you, if that's what you want you just have to figure out how to tango since it does take two. It can't be all him Teamwork makes the dream work.

How many times have you typed LOL with a straight face

likesmart

Can’t say much just hearing 1 side of the story.

likesmart

Everyone is replaceable sweety. Also, do you really think what you see on social media is true?😂

likeuplifting

Gently make it clear to him that you expect a little more from him in this area. Men don’t read minds but we will listen. Tell him you value small gestures and be prepared to reciprocate. Recognize and thank him when he does. Don’t expect or require grand gestures or gifts as you will lose him. Go slow and easy and he will change.
In saying this, it is better to have a man never does the little things, one who doesn’t tell you he loves you 500 times a day but who has your best interest on his mind all of the time, someone you can trust with your worries, anxieties, and weaknesses. A man you can trust, than a man who showers you in flowers. gifts, and flatteries but does not have your back.

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You’d have to ask him

like

It doesn’t matter why. Leave him and find someone who will treat you how you like to be treated but first communicate your needs

like

Everyone’s answer these days is leave him or leave her, rather than putting in the necessary work required. Everyone is so ready to just throw the towel in at the slightest inconvenience.

How do you think all of these 30+ year marriages have lasted? You think they listened to their friends that said “he doesn’t deserve you Queen” when confronted with a single issue. Strong couples that go the distance will always have their fair share of struggles. Talk to anyone that’s been married 30+ years and ask them if it was smooth or easy.

God I can’t stand this era of everyone always “deserving better.”

Alright rant over.

Because of your body count. And because you asked him to leave your home.

like

Hmnn. Sometimes people take their partners for granted. Maybe take a break in the relationship and see how you two feel. Sometimes we grow out of a relationship but don’t actively breakup as we are so used to the other person. Good to evaluate

like

If he disrespects you. MOVE ON!

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What types of dates does he organize

One hard truth to learn is that we’re all not as unique as we think we are. There are 3.5 billion other choices out there for most people. One of those people will statistically speaking, likely check off all the boxes you mention.

With that said, you still deserve to be treated properly, loved, and respected. Sometimes guys don’t clue in on their partners love language like women do. Perhaps he just needs to be reminded of what you appreciate in life, and how to love you the way you want to be loved. I was guilty of this too, sadly, and learnt the hard way. Hopefully it doesn’t come down to that for him.

Why do you allow these traits in your life.

If you're allowing it he has no reason to be a better person.

Are you taking him for granted? Expecting him to read your mind. Honestly there's not enough information to comment about his actions or lack thereof . But if this is a real post,

The best advice I can offer is to answer this for yourself by:
first- reframing and turning the question around and then answering.
i.e: why do you think he doesn't value you?
In what way do you feel like he 'should' he appreciate you
What makes you kind? Intelligent? Successful, and beautiful?
Why do you think he cant find anyone like you?
Do you value yourself?
Do you appreciate yourself like you should?
What's something kind you've done for him? How did you do to show him your intelligence? How do you define successful? What does beauty mean to you?
Does he think you value him
Does he think you appreciate him like he thinks you should
Does he think you're kind? Intelligent? Successful, and beautiful? Does he think you cant find anyone like him?
Do you value him? Do you appreciate him and in what ways do you show it? What attributes would you consider him to have? Do you think you can find anyone like him?

I was also getting him expensive gifts, watches

Why do you think he doesn't value you? Do you know what your and his love languages are and do you both show each other in the other person's respective love languages?

I would also tell him this. "I miss when you used to do X, Y, and Z" and then watch for changed behavior over a period of time. He may do this temporarily, but if he slips back into this, then he's not the one for you

You are the consultant, explain your reasoning to him with transferable skills.

My motto "The customer is always right; I will determine who will be my customers."

1- Do not compare your relationship to theirs cause you don’t really know what’s going on there.
2-why don’t you just speak up to your boyfriend? Babe I want you to buy me flower sometimes. I want us to plan date nights 2/month. If you want something just say it and see what he’ll do. People are different, it might not mean he doesn’t love you.
3-maybe he does stuff that you don’t find romantic as the flowers but they are.
open communication and stop living through social media cause again you don’t know what‘s going on when those cameras are off.
Cheers!

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