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I stick with club soda & lime wedge so it looks like I’m drinking & can avoid all the prying questions
I’ve always been able to bow out because of my son’s sports. Please know that your mental health & sobriety is more important than happy hour. Maybe suggest a team lunch as an alternative?
It is tough but you need to make an effort to attend happy hour. Drink seltzer water, no cool person will ever make fun of you for not drinking alcohol
There’s an old saying in AA: hang around a barber shop long enough, and eventually you’ll get a haircut.
Is keeping up with the office culture a path to career advancement? Or is it an opportunity to shoot the breeze with colleagues and establish work friendships?
My excuse that always works to avoid sobriety risks? “Guys I have to bow out tonight, I’m trying to close a deal and the client has some questions I need to respond to. Pour one out for me and let’s grab lunch tomorrow.”
I like that
If you were my colleague and you said you’ve been sober for that long I’d understand and either buy you whatever you’d want to drink (non alc) and be cool with it. No big deal. You opening that info up, when you’re comfortable to, is respectable
Chief
This is that an actual bro does.
Always leave a minor task to complete around that time this way you always have an excuse to not go if you choose. I would suggest only partaking in happy hour 50% of the time and enjoy something tasty but virgin obv. See if the office wants to do a fun bowling night or golf tournament to share in socializing with your colleagues so you don’t feel like you are missing out.
This is really great advice. Thank you for this.
It always amazes me how it’s not socially unacceptable to say things like “not drinking tonight?”
Before my son’s sports, when I would say no thanks I don’t drink, it would be a million questions as to why. Why can’t I just not drink and not want to put myself in that environment? Lol
9 months sober. Drank Heineken Zero at my SKO
and felt awesome every morning.
If you decide to go, just order a club soda, make an appearance, and head out.
If you decide not to, that’s OK too. Your health and sobriety come first. If your teammates don’t respect that, then that isn’t a good environment for you to be in anyway.
Just tell them you are driving from the station to get home….. no-one would encourage you to drink deep in that circumstance….
All of the above are good perspectives… My only take is this, no one ever asks the Top Earner to partake, they only ask what they can do to be like you…. closing deals means you make your own culture.
2 years dry. Put a different drink in your hand. Own it that you don't drink , I personally do it for the health benefits ( feel so much better), and I have a few other good cop outs like other people have said ( driving, kids sports, etc...) keep going !!
Yes! Own it. Be that person. Going the other, more responsible way shows leadership, not weakness. Don’t judge them, but let your actions show them that there are other ways. Be the change you hope to see.
Build a relationship with the staff and have them bring you virgin drinks. You’d be surprised how creative those drinks can become
I doubt any one that actually matters cares if you drink or not. You should be involved in team activities though and not avoid happy hours and stuff because you do not drink. Just go to socialize.
I tell people that I’m allergic to alcohol. No fake drinks or excuses to get out of happy hour needed.
If going to a bar is too tempting and may break your sobriety then don’t go. No job is worth losing your sobriety.
There are many other ways to connect.
There really should be more to work culture than “happy hours” . I work at Indeed, I don’t attend happy hours it’s just not my thing . The food would have to be super tempting for me to go because I don’t drink etc BUT I do participate in various IRGs and volunteer for other things we do when I can. I also mentor AEs. I have met and worked with plenty of people. Hopefully they have other ways for you to keep up with office culture
If you’re aiming to connect with colleagues, skipping out on the happy hour is no big deal! I made some of my best friends today from going on work lunch dates. They’re a great refreshing break during the work day too!
I think ppl inherently assume you’re pretentious and they feel self conscious when someone says “I don’t drink” ..stand tall in ur convictions attend 25-50% of the time if truly needed.& If it’s not abt career advantage don’t sweat it. If u feel inclined pull the big wig to the side for a 1/1.
Suggest a volunteer event. Think of another non HH way to connect.
My advice to you. It is hard, extremely hard specially being that you are trying to stay sober. Attend those networking events, and always ask for a club soda with 🍋. Tell others is a gin and tonic and stick to that drink. I have learned the hard way that you won’t move unless you network. I have no job and it has been hard to get a finance job because I suck at networking and never attended
Good luck