Comparison is the thief of joy. I think for me it helped to stop comparing my sobriety to other people's and being upset when it seemed like their lives were improving more or faster than mine was.

I’m (early30s) about 8 months into a relationship with a 40m. Things are wonderful in every aspect, but he is absolutely atrocious with his finances. I felt it becoming an issue about two months ago. He forgets about auto payments and just generally doesn’t care. I sat down with him and looked at everything and even after talking it out he still continues to stress and it’s now causing me stress. I had a final discussion with him today about it and he went on abt how love isn’t enough for me…

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

How do you correct bad aspects in your character that you unconsciously got from your parents?

Any recommendations for books for desi parents ? Politics , economics, world order , self help

During family prayer - my mom takes nearly 40 minutes every single time (this is 2x a day, morning and night). She speaks a different language and I barely understand. How can I lovingly tell her to take less time?

My fiancé will NOT stop talking about her ex. After I found out they were texting arguing she justified it by saying it was about the dogs and not them. Even though Her social media is full of his pics. She still sends him $50 a month for dog food, still goes to work right by his place and suspiciously needs keys. I try to bring it up and I get dismantled for being too mean and making “false accusations.” How much more obvious can it be?

Anyone marry their law school sweetheart?

My gf and me call each other everytime we have free time. However lately she seems disinterested in phone time. She never initiates calls anymore and she tells me she wants to hang up in the middle of the day and not right before bedtime. We live a 4 hour drive apart. And I told her this is like living together from a distance, because I put her on the house speakers. What can I do to keep her engaged?

It’s so fucking hard to make friends in SF.

I’m irritated ALL the time and it’s ruining my relationship. What’s wrong with me? lol should I just start smoking weed or get on an anti depressant?

I want to give a Christmas gift to the manager of the gym I go to. She’s awesome and I just really appreciate her. I can’t think of any ideas though! Can anybody think any good ones? I do not know much about her personal life except that she’s a single mother.

Fish I need some help and advice. I fell off the wagon last weekend (sober two years and change with alc) and I cheated on my SO of three years. We live together and she has been by my side through

My family mistreated me when I was younger, and now that I don’t live at home, they don’t call or bother to look for me, because frankly, I think they have a hard time admitting what happened - and will never apologize to me either. If I don’t call, or occasionally go see them during the holidays, we would never talk. Some of them are growing old (health-wise), and I’m scared this entire situation is just irreparable. Has anyone ever gone through anything similar? Any advice or thoughts?

This is an emotional dump rn. It may be lack of social interaction but I'm really frustrated lately. I feel like I lost last 2.5 years of my life with ongoing lockdowns and job instability in the first half of the pandemic. I was 28 turing 31. I get good dates but -ve self talk
Inflation is high & coming from a low income family where you're supposed to help your parents is driving me nuts. Although I make a good salary, after rent, car insurance, there isn't much left (unfav currency exchange)

Darcy is engaged?!

I just started a new job and am about to be 36. I want to start a family but I feel like I should be waiting due to this new job. However I don’t want to miss out. I’m thinking about freezing my eggs

Dad passed away 2 months ago. I traveled to India and stayed for 2 months, dealt with significant red tape to close his cards, loans, transfer pensions, etc. A succession certificate is WIP for one of his accounts, so mom decided to stay back until it’s done. Mom has always refused to hire a maid, loves to hoard, cleans superficially, the house is always a mess when I visit and all my India trips are spent cleaning including this one. I’ve fought with her a ton over the last two months as well..

Just found my first grey hair. World’s smallest violin, I know...but still!!!

How do you lead a morally fulfilling life while being in this industry? I’ve been battling with this question as of late.

Realization: I'm good at my job because I'm single

Hello Sharks,
I have recently got an offer from a real estate IPC for associate consultant, offering 7 LPA which is 33% hike Approximately on my current CTC,
Is it worth taking this offer?
Location is Gurgaon, can I survive easily in such a place with this pkg?
Please help!

Hi folks, can anyone suggest how much TCS can pay for 3.2 years of experience? Profile is Salesforce Developer.

I’m 8 months into a new job and I want to quit already. Uughhhh. My boss I’m leaning is deceptive and very political. This sucks

My company has grown from 50 to 200, and my impact as an HR leader needs to grow from IC activities (recruiter, hr ops person) to.....hr leader. Any tips on doing that (and doing it well?)

Received job offer in Frankfurt Germany, would be moving from a HCOL city in the US. Has anyone lived or worked there? What did you think of it? Any suggested neighborhoods?

Okay hear me out - been wanting to start a side hustle/business/startup for a while now as it’s a cool learning opportunity and I want that kind of passion. just don’t really have any good ideas....how do I brainstorm and come up with meaningful ideas?

Recently accepted an offer for a manager in Bizops in Ad sales for a tech firm. Curious about the growth opportunities in this area. What do folks do after 2-3 years in such roles ?

Any recommendations for a good female Halloween costumes for a client party this week?

Hi How long are you on bench after joining brillio?

Anyone have suggestions on the best way to afford to stay at a Marriott property in Honolulu? Most of the properties looks a bit pricey

Does anyone here work for Corporate Value Associates?

If so, could I please get in touch via DM?

Shukran

Out here in frosty Sioux City Iowa after a long day of meetings.. heading to the casino near my hotel to throw some money around and warm myself up.... who wants in?

Did BCW NY just layoff it’s EA staff?! Seeing a bunch of these names on Connect and very upset that great people were let go!

Anyone has 1st or 2nd hand knowledge about what happens if you delay your oath ceremony? Do you really wait another year?

Hey Fishes.
EY GDS is looking for candidates with 5+ experience in OT/CS (SCADA/ADMS/OMS/DERMS/AMI
If any one interested I can refer
Please ping me separately @

Are the <3.5% rates gone for good?

Wrapping up 2021...

Do you have any reflections on this year? Biggest takeaways? How will you close it out?

Drop below to share 👇

Problem gambler here having to deal with multiple payday loans. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle? Been in a situation with pay day loans in the past? Any guidance would be great.

Hi. So grateful for this bowl! I’m 16 months sober. Fairly new to ACN just curious what types of challenges you’ve faced and how you’ve overcome them?

Went for a pre-employment drug test yesterday. They never asked me if I was on any medications. I had to ask them and was told "oh yeah, just put any you may think make a difference in this text box." I put Xanax, Flexeril, and gabapentin. All of which are prescribed and used as directed. Now I'm terrified that I should have put ALL my meds, to including my psych meds. I've been sober over 12 years and never touched drugs (just booze) but I'm having a full blown panic attack.

I went to the lease this last weekend. Not one drop of alcohol was had. That was the closest I’ve come to caving. 4 wheelers, killing dinner with big guns, doing manly things in God’s country. Beer is an absolute necessity during these events. Anyhow, I didn’t drink. Proud of myself. Monumental moment for me.

I know everyone will have different answers for this but how did you know it was time to get sober? I think it might be time for me to find a new job and pursue sobriety, but I don't feel like I'm a rock bottom which is the only time I've ever seen people really commit to it (my father). Apathy isn't the right word but I just kind of feel numb about everything and I think being sober would maybe help.

I told myself I wasn’t going to do it. Re-assured myself I wasn’t going to do it. Told myself you’d know what would happen and still ended up gambling away a bunch of money I know I couldn’t blow. I don’t understand.

Sibling is 52 days sober from heroin/cocaine, but I just found a syringe and alcohol wipes under their pillow.

They have been passing observed urine tests, how is it possible that they’re using? Any ideas?

First in-person retreat in a while coming up and first for me at this particular firm. Several people have mentioned that much of the bonding etc happens while drinking. I am newly sober and now worried about being in this environment, any tips for making it through the weekend? Similar experiences?

I started working for a bank and am going through the background check. They found an arrest which was dismissed and the file was sealed a few days after the check. They’re requesting the police report on top of the court order to seal. The police report is BAD. During the arrest (DUI) they wrote the report to make me seem like a complete lunatic. Embellished on several elements of the case. I am worried that giving them this report will cause me to be let go.

Have been sober for many years but currently relapsed and am in a downward spiral. I’m close to losing my family but I can’t seem to get my head together. Feel like I need a few months out, maybe take some time off work… has anyone done similar and did it help?

Any meditation stories on recovery anyone willing to share? Did you have break through moments during meditation?

Covid has been hard. March 2029- December 2020 I drank a lot to cope without realizing it. January- March I didn't realize I was depressed. March I came to terms with increase and ongoing suicidal ideation and needed help.

I went into a intensive outpatient program (IOP) which has been super helpful.

During the beginning of covid I drank every day and in a great deal. January it was a "dry" month which was hard the first week but overall great.

March 2021 realized I'm clinically depressed.

1 week sober! Over the last 12 years (I’m early 30s) I’ve reached this point just a handful of times. Alcohol is deeply intertwined into my social life much like everyone’s is I imagine. Feeling clear minded and energized. Want to stay clean for my own mental and physical health and for the benefit of my wife and children. Just starting this journey so thank you in advance to this community as I’m ready to learn from you all and be a part. Let’s go!

How do you know when dependence turns into addiction? Where’s the line?

Downloaded the “Days” app. No frills, no extras. Just a number staring you in the face. I’ve made it almost habitual to open and check... even multiple times a day when I know the day counter hasn’t changed, but it’s helping and encouraging. Each day is a sense of accomplishment and a win over the pull of my own thoughts. Forcing my willpower into further restraint. 10 days strong so far.

Does anyone have any advice for supporting and coping with someone going through withdrawal? My husband is trying to quit his weed addiction and he has been irritable and mean since he quit. His mood is erratic and he is constantly annoyed w me. I don't even know how to bring this up without setting him off. Just feel like I'm walking on eggshells and I'm emotionally exhausted at this point. Is there anything I can do to help him? Is there anything I can do to help myself cope?

I buy things I don’t need and don’t know how to fix it. I always blamed it on “drunk buying” but I’ve been sober for 355 days and it persists. I know I buy things in an effort to fill a void and try to feel something so I buy “things” but it doesn’t help and I know it. Any thoughts or suggestions?