I have posted a lot on here about trying to escape a toxic relationship and I did it. I showed up at my mom’s house with my bags and my dog two weeks ago. Im finally safe. I have just spent the last 4 years begging someone to make me a priority. To love me. To put his phone down and spend time with me…. And now I’m alone and I can’t stop crying bc I still ache for someone to make me feel like I matter. I hate that I’m like this.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

You did the most difficult step which was packing up and leaving. Its going to suck a bit as you let the emotions flow out but it will get better. You’ve just created space to meet someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. For now, take care of you and prioritize healing. Hoping being at your mom’s will also bring you comfort. Sending you a big hug! Proud of you!

like

Very proud of you!! Well done OP (and omg you are a Paralegal on top of all this??!)

Not all heroes wear capes. You deserve love and you WILL find it again.

like

You did it! So proud of you! Surround yourself with good people and take care of yourself! This chapter is all about you!

like

Congrats on taking the first step to making sure you matter first! You need to make sure you are first in your life before thinking you should matter in anyone else’s life. Be your number one priority and love yourself, that comes through louder than you’d think!

Never beg to be a priority to anyone. If you clearly are not in the future, it’s time to walk away.

like

Sending you love and hugs. Take time to heal, rest will fall in place

You will make better decisions next time around.

Make a list of all the things you want in a relationship and in a partner. Trust me, you will find them

Related Posts

Important question! Any strategies for getting out of work zoom happy hours? Other than ignoring requests and not showing up, which has been my MO so far. But it’s getting a bit awkward.

likefunny

It really bothers me when I hear kids being referred to as under privileged. We say that to them enough then they start to believe they are less than others 😡

like

Mom of two here (21 month old and 5 month old) who is starting to consider having a third. I am in my late 30’s and my doctor just recommended I start trying at 6 months postpartum. I am thinking I want to start closer to 8-10 months postpartum but have no idea what to expect with a third. Is anyone in a similar situation? Moms or Dads of two, do you ever look back and wish you had tried for three? Moms or Dads of three, how was the transition from two to three and how much did life change?

like

Anybody willing to help a broke kid out with some mock interview prep?

like

I hate it when people try to bond with me over trauma when their trauma is that they fight a lot with their spouse or they didn’t get the promotion they wanted. How is that staring death in the face??

like

My gf and me call each other everytime we have free time. However lately she seems disinterested in phone time. She never initiates calls anymore and she tells me she wants to hang up in the middle of the day and not right before bedtime. We live a 4 hour drive apart. And I told her this is like living together from a distance, because I put her on the house speakers. What can I do to keep her engaged?

like

How do I figure out spending with my SO? Initially I was paying for 90% of stuff (no actual bills, just going out). I talked to her and said we need to be more even. She was never proactive. She kind of got offended but we ended on a good note to split things. It went well for a couple weeks but now it's back to normal. She never takes out her card and only venmos me if I send her the request. She lets Venmos sit for weeks before paying them. I still let a lot of things slide.

like

Welcome to the Single (Never Married) Teachers bowl. I'm sure the struggle is real out here and sometimes it's good just to have someone who's in a similar situation to talk to about our experiences.

likesmart

So I have been seeing a guy for 4 months. We have a pay disparity.. he earns less than I do (by quite a bit). He has mentioned a few times that he’s worried I’ll get bored of him when I know he can’t afford the same things I can. I think we are beginning to move past this, but now he’s starting to mention things like ‘I am really broke this month’, and last weekend he told me his mum has lost her job and he’ll have to probably pay her rent. I have a lot of sympathy for his situation … tbc

like

AITA? If my SO of 1 year wants to get a dog, do I get an opinion? We don’t live together

I am overly stressed that my parents are visiting and staying with me for 5 weeks. Paid them for a cruise but still have 4 weeks. I am dreaded to live with them 4 weeks without social engagement cont'

like

become an expert my friends

Post Photo
likesmart

My Dad and brother didn’t even text me happy birthday 😔

likesmart

Someone explain to me what happened on the bachelor. Stopped watching but keep seeing confusing storylines of what happened. Madi said no, then he proposed to Hanna, then Hannah broke up with him?

like

I have pretty strong social phobia and am worried about making friends. I'm going to be working for an engineering company so I imagine I don't have to be really up on the latest trends or anything but how can I talk to people without making it sound unnatural?

like

What are parents paying for baby sitters these days? Wife and I going out tonight for about 3-4 hours and have a local college student babysitting our toddler daughter tonight. Low-medium cost of living city and daughter will be asleep for most of the time. We’re thinking $15-20 per hour and make sure there are plenty of snacks around. Appropriate?

like

Has anyone quit their job because of a relationship? I started my job 3 months ago and now my employer wants me to move to NY. The thing is, I fell in love during the pandemic with a friend that I have known for 3 years. It's frustrating since I know I could continue my job from home. I would honestly quit my job and wouldn't mind the job search again.

like

I've got some friends who work remote jobs, and every day I grow more jealous of them during my one-hour commute.

like

This is the only bowl I can think to post in, but I'm really feeling it today. Has anyone lost their best friend (i.e. through time/growing up) and feel like none of their current friends could live up to the fun/connection you used to have with your high school BFF? I feel like I put too much focus on that one friend and also my boyfriend and just never actually made time for anyone else. I fucked myself over.

like

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

like

More Posts

Any advice for how to transport wine during a move (1,000 miles driving)? There’s only about 15 bottles i actually care about from my collection - I’ll probably end up just drinking the other 30 by the time we move.

like

Hi All, what’s your perspective on the CFP? I’m looking to enter into Private Banking and I think it would help.

Also, for those who recently took the CFP. What material did you use to study?

like

Classic consulting/Deloitte fashion: I listed SQL on my resume as a skill, where I really just have basic familiarity with core concepts, but would struggle to be tested technically on it. Upcoming interview where I’m likely to be asked about it. What do you recommend?

likefunny

Got an offer from Google, which is less than my current comp (2nd yr AP at McK). Don't have any counter offer yet. Tips on how to negotiate a higher number?
They keep telling me the California law that it is against law to look at current comp numbers. Leave aside giving me a raise on my current comp

likehelpful

Started at the firm straight out of university. Currently an analyst approaching the 2 year mark and up for promo to consultant. I have a Program Manager offer at Shopify - should I make the jump?

like

Got a Dubai Strategy& Senior Associate interview next week - anyone has tips/recommendations or things I should look out for? Maybe things that are different from the US.

like

Hi fishes

What do we get as a diwali gift in Gartner? Do we have a Diwali Party?

like

Is there any PG/ FLAT available in Pune (Hinjewadi phase 3) location or nearby it. (For Male)
My company is Capgemini.
Please respond quickly.

like

Deloitte 🐠, How much revenue do you have to win and manage to make partner?

likesmart

Folks who are into fitness, can you please suggest a good pair of walking and running shoes.

Hi Everyone,

Could you help me answer few of
Question related to Tavisca Pune.

1 what is different in job profile Tech lead Cloud and Senior software engineer cloud? Is there any job responsibilities difference, seems both required similar years of experience.

2. How is the working model ? WFH/WFO/if hybrid how many days mandatory requires to visit in a week?

3. Hows the work in terms of AWS cloud ? DevOps/EKS/scripting?

4 how is WLB/work culture / office hours ?

Thanks in advance.!!

Thoughts on CPOAX?

like

What are common easy to pick up side hustles?

like

Michael Burry comments make me want to run to cash

like

Hey friends. Recently joined a startup with a heavy reliance on outbound sales strategy. Without a phone number... what are some of your best ways to get meetings booked with prospects?

Our product sells itself, but how do you set yourself apart to get the initial meeting booked?
What mediums do you use with cold outreach that you find most effective?
What copy have you found gets the best ppen/reply rate?

I am not a sales PRO, but I'm also not a newbie. Really just looking for a think-tank.

like

Hi fishes I am fresher from Computer Science. I am allotted salesforce developer profile in my organization. I want to know how good is salesforce developer for career. And how will be it's demand with respect to future. Please guide me I am in a lot of confusions.

like

Does anyone have ideas on how to navigate a smaller team environment when everyone’s roles seem to be stretched (hiring for additional people has been taking a while, not sure why). The stress causes some tension and that’s probably not great for the overall morale of the company long-term. I try to ignore and just stay focused on what I need to do yet sometimes proves challenging. I worry it might affect my professional/career growth. Thoughts on this would be helpful, thanks!

like

My father took a home loan, and the same home is kept as mortgage.
I'm paying arround 22k emi for the same but unable to exempt tax as the loan is on my father's name.

I googled a lot how to transfer it but neither gift deed nor sale deed would work as the property is on mortgage that's under bank's ownership (until loan is fulfilled).
Tax is also getting deducted, I'm paying hefty emis.
What can I do?
Please advise 🙂

likefunny

Hi did anyone recently join Morgan Stanley . I heard that after joining we need to transfer a demat account. Can anyone help with this . I just read about this in some comments no info from hr side.

Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

like

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

like

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

like

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

like

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

like

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

likehelpful

I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

like

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

like

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

like

I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

like

I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

like

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

like

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

likehelpful

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

like

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

like

My partner of 5 years ended our relationship last night. I’m shattered and feel absolutely sick, and I know the healing isn’t going to be easy. We were on the verge of an engagement and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don’t know how to approach work during this time. I think I can get by, but I’m definitely not 100%. Should I talk to my boss about it? My team is close-knit and comfortable around each other, but I don’t know if it’s “appropriate.” What would you do?

like

I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal