After many months from a breakup, Why do people go out of their way to make their life private so that their exes can’t know about their life? Not that I care, but wouldn’t people want to flaunt to their exes that they are doing well and better (even if they are not)? Is it because they are not fully over their exes? I sure wouldn’t care if my exes saw my life activities via social media

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I think this behavior is healthy and necessary for some to move on. You’re focusing on your own life and want to move on without the influence of the ex. Good to have a clean break.

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I no longer care to flaunt anything after my ex. I just want peace and he’s toxic. My glow up is about me, not him, and it’s mentally healthier for me to have him blocked from my life on every channel.

You don’t owe people access to you.

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I know for me it was not wanting whether or not they saw my story or post or whatever hanging over me. It became another line of access to them that was better if I just cut off and was able to just do things for me.

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Because not everyone needs access to my life?

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People with tiny kids (baby/toddler), how are you coping/entertaining your little buggers? Ours is turning 1 very soon and we have a push trike in the mail, but thinking of inside activities too.

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Big sister on the left is not happy she has to share the bed. 🤣🤣🤣

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Anyone work in NY state most specifically Jefferson County? I have a Q re: divorce case, but not sure if I can even private message on this thing.

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Any new dads out there just want a chill 9-5 job and spend more time with the kids? I’m 35 and the rat race is killing me and I’m valuing time with family more than money at this point.

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Do you share details about raises/bonuses/other financial gains with friends or do you keep it to yourself? I have a few friends who will tell me everything from how much money they make to how much their husband spent on them for their bdays to how much their parents make?? To me that feels like bragging/being arrogant. It’s also the way they say it, feels very much like seeking validation to me.

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30 year old male daddy hunter. Slide into my DMs if you’ll be my father figure until the end of time.

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Dropped off my kids to school this morning and just felt unsettled. It’s so hard to concentrate on work today.

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Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

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How much per week/month do you spend on daycare?

Do you ever wish you could just go home at 6, play with your kids till they fall asleep, and then have a glass of wine with your wife before an early bedtime & sleep 8 hours?

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I am generally uncomfortable when I’m around my mother-in-law’s husband.

While he is overall a decent guy, his anger issues, yelling at his wife for the slightest issue, and insulting nature makes me uncomfortable and triggers my own anger due to his blatant disrespect for just about everyone around him.

My mother-in-law says he’s worked on things, but it’s been 10 years of this and I’m not sure I want such behavior around my wife and our kids since we’re trying to conceive soon (cont).

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Completely off topic
I don't have any friends.. sometimes i feel very lonely.. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts or feeling.. there is this void.. trying to pickup things to distract myself but it's not helping much... Seeking your inputs!! Sorry for this off topic question.

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Would you recommend Sedona during Christmas or San Diego during Christmas with a 1.5 year old? Entertainment, safety, meaningful experience-focused.

Sedona will be much colder, possibly snowing/icy and will be hiking, hot tub, enjoying the scenery focused. San Diego will be beach, enjoying scenery focused. Both Airbnb options look beautiful. Will also have 60 year old grandparents joining

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I work in Florida where the Parental Rights law concerning gender theory and sexuality in k-3 is currently being labeled the "Don't Say Gay Bill". I find it crazy that so many of my liberal coworkers, even in the social studies department haven't even read the bill and are just buying the low wholesale. I agree that we should leave those choices up to the parents. Do you guys have similar things happening where you're at?

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Alright I’m calling it on my career at the ripe age of 28. Who needs a handsome house husband

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Appointment for marriage license seems unavailable on Project Cupid entirely. Anybody know why or have tips? We’re looking to get married early July… (finally pulling the trigger after waiting for pandemic to go away)

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How can I approach my boyfriend who has an alcohol problem to help him get healthier ?

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For anyone in this bowl. How crucial is it for you to have a formal dining room separated from the kitchen? My son and daughter-in-law are buying a house for their future family and I'm trying to convince them a formal dining room looks better and makes things less chaotic in the kitchen, especially with kids. Am I out of touch? Or is it still important?

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My gf and me call each other everytime we have free time. However lately she seems disinterested in phone time. She never initiates calls anymore and she tells me she wants to hang up in the middle of the day and not right before bedtime. We live a 4 hour drive apart. And I told her this is like living together from a distance, because I put her on the house speakers. What can I do to keep her engaged?

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Looking to move to San Antonio and we're looking at places in Alta Vista and El Dorado. Pros and cons? We have two kids under five, so looking for a nice family community with good schools.

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So overheard after work:

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Does anyone mind looking over my resume and giving some feedback?

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For those of you without a home office: Where do you usually work? My desk is in my bedroom and I’m considering sacrificing aesthetic to move my set up elsewhere

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

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It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

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Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

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Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

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Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

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I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

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Here to tell you guys that each of us mending from either leaving a bad relationship or having some leave us: things are going to be amazing for us! I believe if for myself and I am so happy! And meeting new people is FUN. Laughing with friends and being yourself, away from all the drama, pain. Liberate yourself by deciding this breakup is your evolution into your best self!

likeupliftinghelpful

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

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I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

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As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

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I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

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Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

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TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

likehelpful

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

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