How do you deal with an alcoholic?

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On your team? In your family? Can you provide more context on your situation and what you’re looking for help with?

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If you find out let me know. Both my parents are.

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I’m sorry. I know how hard this can be. I have an alcoholic dad. My step mom was addicted to meth when I left the house at 17. My mom- who didn’t raise me but I saw for custody visits- was a drug addict with mental illnesses.
I now see I chose accounting because it provided something missing from my childhood- consistency and stability. I’m glad I made the choice but I’ve really had to work on myself to learn how to navigate life.

Can’t help them if they won’t help themselves.

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Accept they will never change. Redefine the relationship to get only what you need from the individual (which could mean ending the relationship too) and you have no obligation to do anything for them.

This strategy has worked well for me

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I think the best thing you can do is being willing to accept them sober or do activities not centered around drinking when the time comes that they choose to become sober. Of course only if it’s a relationship or friendship you care to be in. When you get sober or quit drinking, you find out who your real friends are pretty quickly.

My father is an alcoholic. What’s worked for me is to learn what healthy boundaries mean to me. Those boundaries change with time and have not been easy to navigate- like when I didn’t have him at my wedding.
12-step work with Adult Children of Alcoholics helped me process some of this stuff and also provided a group of others who got my situation and could help me navigate the situations I’d bump up against.
It’s helpful when you can get to a place when you see the alcoholic behaviors aren’t about whether your lovable or not. (At least that was always my challenge- my dad is a mean drunk.) Their drinking is to numb out their own pain. Hurt people hurt people. 💔

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