I left my last job at EY because I was constantly gaslit about how I wasn’t good enough and didn’t perform well. I was denied PTO and one of my Senior Managers started micromanaging. It was funny because he’s the one that vouched for my promotion (and I got promoted largely because of him). I received stellar reviews in the first 7-8 months I was in the job and then after being promoted, felt like I was being thrown under the bus. Expected to be available on Teams, Outlook and be responsive even

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Yo same here. EY has become a toxic place. I left and I am much happier. Why do you care what your EY colleagues think of you? It does not matter one bit.

What matters is your focus on your new place and excelling and appreciating your new colleagues. Stop dwelling on the past.

likeuplifting

I’m sorry- it sounds like your workplace became toxic and it hurt you. I know it’s hard but I’d disregard all those rumors. You know the truth and so does EY. The others can respectfully f%#* themselves. I think you need to care for yourself first and foremost and never again accept being that burnt out. No role is worth being in that mental state. Think about how you can be assertive and create time for meaningful self care. If, as you put your strategies in motion you get a lot of pushback and it doesn’t feel viable for you to care for yourself and work at EY, then you should leave for your own well-being and find a job with a company that will respect your time and humanity.

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I’m so sorry that you went through this. I can relate since I’ve been through some similar things and hoping to land something new. It’s hard to heal from this, especially if you take work seriously.. what I’ve been doing is trying to focus on making incremental improvement.

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Ask your teams where you are now about expectations around availability on teams and such outside typical work hours. You may find they have a very different expectation. Work with the team you have now, understand how they work, and odds are they are more reasonable and you can get some clarity to avoid the what-ifs getting too wild. Hang in there.

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Over the weekends. I was so burned out, I wouldn’t eat, bathe or do anything, just sit in front of the laptop and keep working. I drove myself to the point of ruin and then just stopped caring. I cared enough to work, but not at the expense of skipping meals and basic human upkeep. I started receiving negative reviews and naturally, I began looking outside. I felt so demotivated and low about myself after reading those reviews that I still can’t get over it. After having left the firm, I heard there was gossip that I left because I was on a PIP, whereas I’ve never been on one. This is having a pour over effect in my new job, where I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. I don’t know what to do. I sometimes feel suicidal.

You should never feel that way. I have been in a similar situation here at Deloitte and I had an offer from EY recently which I respectfully declined. Now, it is not about you at all. It is the work and the toxic ass people that you work with. I felt so traumatic within months of joining Deloitte that even I had similar thoughts I used to cry myself to sleep. But I persisted and when moved on to my second project everything turned out to be really amazing and I changed my perspective towards Deloitte and it's people...so forget what you can't control but what you can is what u should focus upon. Also it's never about you or your capabilities and i really hope u get to work with nice bunch of people and get good project. There are toxic people everywhere and more so in big 4s. Sometimes it's the work that makes people behave rudely. Keep looking for a job though. Just not the big 4s if you want your peace of mind and life back

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Last song you listened to.. go!

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If you want a great 30 min podcast listen, check out Science vs. PANDEMIC episode. It was made in September of 2019 and is a war of the worlds type show on a pandemic spreading through the world. It even features Anthony Fauci before anyone knew who he was.

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