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Rising Star
I want a baby 😭
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Any insight on DoorDash salaries?
Microsoft, Salesforce, Amazon? Same TC.
Bowl Leader
What's the requirement to travel back to the US?
Enthusiast
Mr Bean ❤️
Conversation Starter
Additional Posts in The Worklife Bowl
A for effort?
Chief
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Enthusiast
Someone works at or with PwC Experience Center?
Can’t wait for the memes of this
FRM average salary through uhaul
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Chief
I’ve been here. What you need to do is stop working out and really pack on the pounds. Eat like a slob, don’t shower as often and start smoking. She’ll be disgusted with you and end it. It’s not for everyone, but it worked for me.
Good luck.
Chief
Bold strategy cotton. My advice would be to dump and then get jacked. Far easier that way.
Enthusiast
Ok friend, listen. I am a veteran at this.
You have to make mental and logistical preparations to reduce the chance that you’ll chicken out or be manipulated by tears or a guilt trip.
Do a variant of ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ Do NOT blame her, or point out any flaws. Even if she begs or cries. Even if she picks a fight.
Or this will happen: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qQi3_PpYzIM
YOU TAKE THAT SHIT ON THE CHIN LIKE A MAN AND SAY NOTHING BACK. Do I have to repeat myself? No matter what names she calls you, no matter how hard she cries, you just take it and say nothing. You can do this. Once she calms down, say something like ‘I have to go now. This is for the best. I am sorry.’ Don’t be mean, ever. Be caring. Then get the hell out.
You have to be detached from your heart. You have a mission. Rip that bandaid off. It will be hard, I know. But you have to follow through.
Have a trusted male friend to lean on. Tell him, ‘Okay im gonna break up with my GF at 8. I need you to have my back and make sure i wont chicken out. Please call me at 9 to make sure i did it.’
Block her phone number. Block her on Facebook, Instagram, whatever. Download a browser plugin and block pages with her name on it.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re worried about what she or her friends would think. GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF. You’re breaking up. It’s over. You’re doing this for the benefit of both of you.
She will desperately try to contact you within the first month. If she’s normal, it will be just once. If she’s unstable, this is where you have to watch out for boiled rabbits. Lean on your male friend to help you tough out this turbulent time.
It will take 3 months to get over the initial pain and vulnerability, if you cut all contact. If you write even one damn text or look at her social media just once, it resets the clock. But if you last the 3 months, one day you’ll wake up and everything will be fine. And she’ll be fine, too.
Good luck, and godspeed.
Enthusiast
Senior Consultant 2 brings up setting things in motion. Glad this was brought up.
This could be good for people who have some breakup experience and decent willpower.
But OP has low willpower (feels guilt easily) and is a newbie (said he’s only been the dump-ee, never the dump-ER).
If OP sends a text or calls saying he needs to talk, the girlfriend will ask Why. Then OP will weakly attempt to dodge the reason. OP is too inexperienced. The girlfriend will drag out a conversation about the breakup over text or on the call.
This will trap OP and make the breakup less likely to follow through. A man behind his phone is no match for a woman behind her phone. She’ll obliterate him.
Had to do this. Honestly great relationship just wasn’t the one. Have tried to stay friends but she needs space. Just rip the bandaid off, be really nice about it and maybe try to leave her with a parting gift. I gave the girl $100 and a book as an early birthday gift so she didn’t feel like I didn’t care about her bday.
It was with the note I wrote and the book was thoughtful. I feel like every good bday card has money in it?? She didn’t complain cause she and her friend got their nails done 💅🏻
Can anyone relate? I’ve never been here. I’ve always been broken up with. It’s awful 🙈
Chief
This happened to me in college. I was dating a guy, things were “ok” but I started to get a nagging feeling I wanted to get out of the relationship. I wanted to wait because he had some family stuff going on and I didn’t want to add to it. One day while watching TV I just blurted out that I wanted to break up. It wasn’t necessarily planned, I think I just reached a point I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt really bad. He was really upset and kept trying to talk things out, but I made up my mind and stayed firm.
Fast forward 9 years later and I’m in a long term, 5 year relationship with an amazing guy.
You’ll feel guilty at first, but things will work out for both you and likely her too in the end. It only gets harder the longer you wait and you’ll grow more resentful of the relationship
Chief
Twice through a divorce. Yes. Feels as if you need to throw up and it won't go away until you hurl!! 😦
Conversation Starter
What is the differences long term for you both? I am in a similar situation, we are different and love each other so I’m scared to end it because of how sweet they are
You gave your gf (or ex-gf) $100 for her bday?! To show you care?!? You must be a gem.
Rising Star
If I was getting dumped a $100 bonus might help!
Life’s short. Live fast, eat ass.
Enthusiast
I just watched this last week. This will help you:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PRhQMf5HMHU
Just curious for those of you who genuinely still cared about your ex and say it “wasn’t the right fit”. What do you mean? Could you give examples? Again, just curious :)
Pro
The guy didn’t like how I spent my money and I always felt I couldn’t do what I wanted to do eat what I wanted to etc just enjoy my life. Sorry, bye
Conversation Starter
Come from a place of love for a fellow human being.
You think waiting is kindness, but in actuality it’s torture and does more long term harm. Being in a constant state of dread and anxiety is much much worst than the ending actually happening.
There will be relief combined with sadness. But it’ll allow you both to process what’s already ended, by acknowledging it and being honest and true to yourself and her
It’s scary, but if you look at it as you being selfish by not breaking up with her, it’s easier. Because it is selfish to not want to deal with watching someone’s pain, even if you caused it. And it is selfish to drag out a relationship that you know isn’t meant to be and waste both of your time.
This!! Being broken up with sucks, having someone stay longer out of pity is way worse
Pro
I was in the same exact position with my bf. I just didn’t see us having a future together and I told him this, but he convinced me that we could try and work it out. He had also recently started a stressful job and lost a family member so I was trying to be there for him and it ended up dragging on for 6 months longer than it should have.
In those 6 months I was pretty distant and was basically trying to get him to break up with me. Point is, do it sooner than later, there is never a “good time”.
Conversation Starter
“Just do it” - ✔️
If it’s any consolation I broke up with a girl a couple of days before Christmas (this was many years ago). We had been together for about 10 months, but I started to feel disconnected about two months prior. I wanted to give it a chance and see if it could work out, but the magic wasn’t there anymore for me. I felt like absolute garbage for my timing. Other factors that would make me feel worse was thinking about how we’d commute in together (public trans) since our jobs were just a few blocks away and meet up for lunch sometimes and go home together (did not live together, but lived about 10 minutes away from each other). She did see and want a future together, but I did not share that sentiment. You can drive yourself crazy thinking about how the other person will be affected and that just goes to show that you do care for them, but you’re also not being fair to them by prolonging the inevitable. Time does heal all wounds even for the ones doing the breaking up.
Ultimately, you shouldn’t be left to feel miserable despite other things going on the other person’s life - those things are more than likely not because of you. You just have to say that although you soul searched and dug deep inside, the relationship is not something you can devote yourself to any longer - a person can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them. Wish her the best.
Rising Star
I was you with a bf who lost his job and had just become sober when it happened. I truly wished him the best but knew it wasn't right. He had just taken an amazing step in the right direction with sobriety and was doing great when he lost his job. I didn't have the heart to kick him when he was down. We suffered through probably 6-8 months waiting for him to get a job and make it past his 30 day check in. When I finally did it, he knew even though I never told him. I think what I did out of pity and what I thought was kindness and care was maybe worse on him. Be kind when you do it, but do it now.
I’ve been there. You feel like you’re empty because you pretty much done everything you possibly can. My moms advice is never to waste someone’s time especially when you know it’s going to end. Sometimes you need to break up in order to focus on the important things; your happiness. G’luck friend.
Post this to relationship advice on Reddit
Visual Storyteller
Just have her catch you passed out on the coach with your junk out and a deepfake revenge porn video of Ivanka on loop.
She will dump you on the spot.
You only have one life. So does she. Don’t waste any time with the “wrong” person if you know it isn’t going to work out, unless you are getting benefit from that time (which is a conscious choice). But staying with something you know is wrong is time you’ll NEVER get back.
Pro
Relationships are inherently selfish because you're in one for your happiness with the added benefit that your other partner is also happy. But when a relationship becomes draining, don't just wade in the water hoping it gets better soon. It takes real effort by both parties.
Cut the cord FOR YOU. Not for anyone else. No one else's opinions matter because they don't sleep in the same bed with you every night. If you're aware that your partner can feel something going on and reacts by being passive aggressive, you guys are just doing a never-ending song and dance. Resentment will grow because neither of you guys will be forward.
You can do it OP. Think of long term happiness.