Just a little hope out there for those who need to hear it — I left an emotionally and financially abusive 13 year relationship (drained my bank accounts, ruined my credit, gaslit and cheated) and it took a while to free myself. I had no idea what was going to be waiting for me on the other side. But just 4 years later, I’m deeply in love again, thriving, financially independent, and my credit score jumped 155 points to +800. Be determined to love your best life. It’s never too late!

Seriously don't know how to get a boyfriend as an IB analyst, most people who are in a relationship started dating since college. Really don't want to be single when I'm 30•••

How do married folks manage finances ..keep them separate or everything common? Have heard married people splitting rent and stuff and not sure I fully understand how common are situations like that.

Our 5 month old started daycare about 5 weeks ago. We’ve already had to keep her home for 2.5 of those 5 weeks due to catching various illnesses (croup, rsv, brinchiolitis, etc). Both my wife and I have been sick most of that time as well (gotten it from the baby). Wife is thinking we get a full time nanny for the next 4 months to help the baby build antibodies. Cost aside, is this feasible / worthwhile to go thru the effort / finding the right fit, only for 4 months?

What are some aggressive ways to control your spending? I tried a little but of everything(paying myself first, only debit cards,cash) but seems like i have the urge to spend and i do so. Any tips?

Is an IPO in anyone’s FIRE strategy? Maybe this is specific to the Bay Area, but it doesn’t seem that unrealistic to negotiate enough equity to make $1.5 mill off an IPO. Or maybe I’m dreaming 😂

I love watching my 3-year-old's engineering hacks... he wanted to pet the cat so he built a fort out of pillows and waited, now the cat's purring on his lap and they're both asleep

What all methods to save tax on a 22 LPA salary (fixed including PF both employer and employee) apart from standard 80C, NPS, insurance and home loan, etc

At what point does it make sense to buy a home? I have ~700k in the stock market and a lower than average salary currently (80k) and pay 1800 a month in rent.

I’m trying to buy my first house and my wife and I have a few IRAs from previous employers (Roth and non Roth). I read I won’t be penalized if I take out upto 10k from my IRAs for a first time house (except for taxes on the non-Roth accounts). Anyone know how true this is, how the process works, or have any advice? Is it a good idea

Any recommendations on where to invest 10k? I have about 15k in stocks but I don’t think I’ve done a great job picking stocks. Also for people making 150k+ how do you budget your money monthly?

Does anyone have any good self created templates they’re willing to share for use in the context of stock option planning?

Anyone else feel like the markets always conspire against them? I.e. I have a “fun money” day trading account and bought two stocks about a year ago. Sold them because they weren’t doing anything and I found a more attractive investment and then they’re up literally 60% over the next three days after a year of 0 movement.

Qualified Dividends: I’m expecting $650-$750 qualified dividend in 2021. Salary and base about $250 total. Questions: what tax rate will the qualified dividend be taxed at? The 15% or 20%? Also, since it’s technically a long term gain, do I have to pay an state and local on the income? Been reading for a bit and I can’t seem to find a clear answer. Thanks fishies!

What are the best ways of tax exemption

Can my current lender refuse to accept the payment from refinance lender because they want to make more money from me? How do I sue them ?

4th year associate, 200k student loans—think I’ll be able to get a mortgage even with loans? Looking at a place for 450k. I have 3.5 years public interest work that counts towards PLSF and I plan on going back to government so I really don’t care to pay it down.

Hi, Ive been working for 5 yrs now , but haven't made any investment or bought asset as such, no savings except the ppf. Please guide

Any recommendations for books for desi parents ? Politics , economics, world order , self help

I’m really discouraged. My after tax / after 401k contributions etc. take home pay is $6,500 monthly. I have $60,000 in savings / stocks for a down payment but even looking at a $550,000 home, my monthly payment would be about $3,400 from the calculators I’ve been using. Is that too high?

So discouraged that houses where I live are about 50% higher than what they were 2 years ago, and now interest rates are around 5.25% for my credit score. This is like a 1750 sq foot home

When it comes to therapy do I look up a place online and make an appointment or do I need some sort of referral? Not sure if I need to see a therapist or physiatrist really.

I have been in client facing wealth management as an advisor for 10 years. I haven’t built a book of business because I’ve worked for mostly discount brokers (Merrill edge, TDA, Etrade). I want to know how to transition to a non client facing role in wealth management or another financial role. I am series 7 and series 66 licensed. Any thoughts?

Hi guys 👋🏻
As we are about to start a much deserving weekend, heres a query that interests us all.

Guys how many bluepoints will be credited into our Global Recognition centre account in January 2023(if India doesnt win the Global Recognition Championship)?

Made a career pivot to another agency. During the interview we talked about how it may start as initially a "step backwards" (pay/benefits) but has potential for more long term growth. First day was yesterday. Had no communication about when or where to show up, sat in an empty office for about half an hour before a couple people finally showed. No phone call or email. Sent an email to the founder, no response. I could easily get my old job back if wanted.

What would you do in this situation?

How much is too much to spend on rent in Boston?

Pre-MBA at MBB — Have worked on a few DDs but have not touched the model workstream yet. Any advice on how I can best discuss my “deal” experience in PE interviews despite that? Thanks in advance!

hearing people do ASMR voices pisses me off.

Hello Fishes,
I got an opportunity from NTT Data BPO.
I am currently being hired for nightshift. Are there any chances for getting day shift or mid shift?
Or are there any chances to get a change in shift after getting on boarded?
Will it be okay to discuss this with HR?
Because during interview I said yes to Night Shifts.

I'm so done with public accounting!! Why is it taking so long to find another job!

Plan is to purchase some time after 2 years or so. Primarily to save up for a larger down payment.

Here’s my plan of attack:
- $30K saved right now ($20K in IBonds and $10K cash)
- $90K saved by July 2023
-$130K saved by 2023 and target a $800K home

Location: Suburbs of Boston, MA

Does biglaw give out swag bags to lateral hires working remotely?

Hey guys, question regarding new years resolutions. Anyone know some good books about how to lead better and step up to become a great CD?

I’ve always been comfortable concepting and writing. But when it comes to nitty gritty logistical stuff, I struggle. Like the discussions about aspect ratios, social post timelines, and the nuances of Facebook collection ads.

Can any other writers relate?

Hi All,

I am looking for a new opportunity on ITSM domain accross India on an immediate basis. Please let me know in case you can extend any help.


Prompt response is appreciated

How many years to be Promoted from SC to SSC then manager?

Hi Fishes,

Is there a minimum tenure that one has to serve in ZS to ask for office transfers? (within India)

And how often do they get accepted and the general sentiment by the management when one asks for it?

Assuming that my team works from Pune (and i like the job scope) but would like to relocate to Bangalore office (hometown) once the team stabilizes and processes are in place.

Would love to talk with you on DMs if you have any experience similar to this.

TIA!

[SERIOUS] Trump supporters, what does American “greatness” look like to you? Specifically, when POTUS says he wants to MAGA, what does “again” look like?

Female 🐠 - how bad is dating in nyc in your late 20s - early 30s? I’m going through a break up and obviously not going to look for anything serious right away but just curious on what to expect

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

My partner of 5 years ended our relationship last night. I’m shattered and feel absolutely sick, and I know the healing isn’t going to be easy. We were on the verge of an engagement and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don’t know how to approach work during this time. I think I can get by, but I’m definitely not 100%. Should I talk to my boss about it? My team is close-knit and comfortable around each other, but I don’t know if it’s “appropriate.” What would you do?

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

Alright it’s been 21 days of no contact. Fastest and longest few weeks since lockdown 😞 I know it’s not an exact science but I’m curious on the statistics…who’s heard from their ex after a breakup and how long after?

Here to tell you guys that each of us mending from either leaving a bad relationship or having some leave us: things are going to be amazing for us! I believe if for myself and I am so happy! And meeting new people is FUN. Laughing with friends and being yourself, away from all the drama, pain. Liberate yourself by deciding this breakup is your evolution into your best self!

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.