My ex was more of a giver and molded himself to fit our relationship. It’s been a couple months since we ended things, and I have this ego-driven fear that he only feels relief and self-empowerment post-breakup, while all I feel is loss, sadness, and to some extent, duped.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Why do you feel duped? He morphed himself to you, not vice versa based off of what you’re saying.

I’m not shifting blame, just feeling like I lost out. Any relationship involves two adults — I can’t be constantly questioning whether he’s being his real self, but I understand what you mean. It’s partially on me for sure

Related Posts

How many couples here where the husband/male SO is younger than the wife/female SO? And what if the age difference.
To start..I'm 34 and wife is 36.

like

Made an appointment with my therapist to talk through the issues in my relationship. Coronavirus has been rough on us

like

Girlfriend has very obvious high functioning anxiety and body image issues that she admits but thinks she doesn’t need therapy or medication and that reading self-help books will help her. It’s not changing in the last several years and it’s impacting our relationship. Anyone have experience with their SO dealing with untreated anxiety? I know I can’t control her but would like to express my feelings without sending her into a spiral. For context, I’ve been in therapy for 12 months and medicated

like

My mother in law is dying of cancer but is also a toxic person. My husband has mixed feelings around letting her dump all of her emotions that should be handled with a therapist on him. Beyond this,

like

Have you ever been or currently in a relationship with someone of who’s political beliefs conflict with your own?

Not dealing with this currently have dealt with it in the past. My parents started out opposites but now believe similarly. I’m wondering if it is possible in this day and age.

like

My friends and I when we go out

Post Photo
funnylike

Is my relationship worth it? Met my SO of 3 years senior year of college. Hoped we would graduate and start our full time jobs together, but my SO is unfortunately still in school (switched majors, transferred schools, etc). Our relationship has taken a big hit, as I am moving forward with my life but he is still in school and can’t find a job. I am also starting to resent him and he is turning more insecure. I am only 23, is this worth it?

like

Am I crazy or do women take pride in saying “my boyfriend/husband makes twice as much as me” or similar statements

What are parents paying for baby sitters these days? Wife and I going out tonight for about 3-4 hours and have a local college student babysitting our toddler daughter tonight. Low-medium cost of living city and daughter will be asleep for most of the time. We’re thinking $15-20 per hour and make sure there are plenty of snacks around. Appropriate?

like

Where are you in your own path to parenthood?

like

Hey everyone. Can someone please suggest different type of work in Accenture with less work pressure suitable for returning mother.

like

Getting over heartbreak and having a full time job is torture lol. My boyfriend and I just broke up after almost a year of being together. It was such a beautiful relationship but ultimately he just didn’t love me. I love him so much. My mind knows that I deserve reciprocal love and I’m worthy, but I feel physically ill. My body hurts, my stomach is in knots, my head hurts. How is it that I have to mend a broken heart but also meet my billable hours lmao

like

Anyone ever have success with requesting AA to transfer a spouse’s separate reservation to your reservation so SO can reap elite status benefit (ie, early boarding/seat selection)?

like

For anyone in this bowl. How crucial is it for you to have a formal dining room separated from the kitchen? My son and daughter-in-law are buying a house for their future family and I'm trying to convince them a formal dining room looks better and makes things less chaotic in the kitchen, especially with kids. Am I out of touch? Or is it still important?

like

Hi everyone I am relocating to Hyderabad next month. Even though I look forward to meeting new people I can’t seem to ignore the fact that I will move away from family. My family situation is already complicated, my mom and dad are not on good terms so we don’t live together and when I move it’ll get worse. I am financially independent but I feel guilty for not being there for them. Is there any possibility of getting transferred to Gurgaon office(a lot closer to my home)if I talk to my manager?

like

So my brother doesn't talk to me for 6 months.   (I had offered my lake house guest space to my cousin who said yes instead of my brother who didn't know if he could come nor when he might know if he could come, how unfair of me).

On Thanksgiving day mom arrives and tells me that brother might come by in an hour.  He had ignored my invite weeks ago.  (Uh ok, sure).

Continued...

like

Lawyer Couples:
I’m currently an associate (no kids) in a very busy corp group (think 50-60 billable weekly). My wife works significantly less (currently part time, 10-15, but hopefully will be full time soon). I find myself getting upset when asked to help with basic household things (trash, cooking etc.) when she’s been lounging around watching Netflix all day. Am I being reasonable or am I a misogynist? How do you deal with one person having significantly more free time than the other?

likehelpful

Anyone else stuck here without family? I'm in SF and my roommates are going home to their families tonight and i'm going to be alone, it's going to be a long 3 weeks..... 😭😭😭

like

Parents - do any of you truly regret having kids?

likefunny

How do you incorporate warm up/bell ringer problems so that kids actually complete the problems and not just use that time to socialize?

like

More Posts

How do you incorporate warm up/bell ringer problems so that kids actually complete the problems and not just use that time to socialize?

like

I was hopeful and excited to have a better working experience while working with EY. But seems like tagline is building better working world in real it is building worse working world. Anyone here experiencing same ?

like

Hi fishes I am fresher from Computer Science. I am allotted salesforce developer profile in my organization. I want to know how good is salesforce developer for career. And how will be it's demand with respect to future. Please guide me I am in a lot of confusions.

like

Realizing that I am way too old for nights

like

This Indian matchmaking show is interesting...love how the first girl is like “my partner needs to fit in my life” 😳🙄😳🙄🤭

likefunnyhelpful

Has anyone been sick for multiple days after the vaccine?

I'm supposed to have a bachelor party this weekend but one of my groomsman's wives got the vaccine Wednesday and is still ill. Could it be vaccine side effects or is it full covid?

like

How long does it take post the technical interview rounds to hear back from the recruiter?

I am not able to find Job requisition number shared by Automated Mail from Capgemini HR in CC.

I have mailed HR about this. But no reply from her. How can find this number to get the offer ?

Women- what’s your go to winter work shoe?

likehelpful

Do tech companies like FAANG hire strategy consultants? Starting at an MBB/T2 next year and curious if tech companies leverage consultants as much as other industries. Part of me wonders if they are in such high growth right now that consultants can’t add as much value, thus maybe a smaller presence. Thoughts?

like

First travel project. What are the most valuable airline points to accumulate? How can I maximize my travel points (hertz, Marriott, air, csr) to be redeemed for free flights?

like

Hi Folks, Got an Offer from Qualcomm for Software Engineer role, wanted to know how are stock refreshers and bonus and appraisal at year end ?

like

Went from a big firm to work for a smaller firm. The people in the smaller firm are protective of their work and are good by their work too. I no longer feel chaos or stress. I am treated with respect and my schedule is more normal. I am even working more billable hours than before, but it feels like a seamless experience. I don’t work then past 5pm or anything out of the ordinary for this time of the year. I am so grateful!

likeuplifting

Hi Fishes,

The Be Well Work Well gifts that some people have been posting about on LinkedIn, is for everyone at PwC AC Kolkata or is it just for Assurance staff?

like

Eating healthier after a week of pasta.

Post Photo
like

Any one knows about Navistar Project?

like

TEKsystems Which company is better to work for Accenture, KPMG or Teksystems for the role of ServiceNow Developer?

like

Applied for the MIT Sloan MBA/Harvard MPP dual and got into Sloan. Would this significantly increase my chances of getting into the MPP?

like

Would would a senior product manager do over and beyond a product manager. We don’t have any seniors at my startup and I’m trying to figure out what I need to do/achieve to get promoted. Any advice would be much appreciated.

likesmart

Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

like

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

like

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

like

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

like

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

like

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

like

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

like

I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

like

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

like

I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

like

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

like

Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

like

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

like

I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

like

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal