I’m in a new relationship after a devastating breakup and pending divorce (ex-husband had an affair). I adore my new partner — he’s so loving and understanding and doesn’t try to dim my sparkle. But it’s hard to adjust to someone different. With different habits, good and bad. With a different voice and laugh and touch. With a different way of being intimate. I don’t want my ex back at ALL but sometimes I miss the familiarity of my old life and old routines. What’s wrong with me?

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I’m just gonna throw this out there….maybe you aren’t really ready for a new relationship? You’re not even divorced yet. It takes time to grieve what you lost, but sounds like you just hopped right on that horse. Maybe pump the brakes a little. Work on yourself a little. Grieve what’s lost to really let go and be fully available for a new partner.

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What PWC1 said. It’s beyond my capacity to get into a relationship and be tied to someone with a commitment when I end a serious relationship. To me, I am not honoring my time alone to heal, reclaim what I want vs with the former “us” did. I’ve met men who want more from and to be in a relationship with me. I’ve said no. I need my time to properly heal and date.

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Give it time. You’ll adjust to what’s new and to what feels good.

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Nothing is wrong with you. Recovering alcoholics miss their alcohol too. Just because you muss it, doesn’t mean it’s good for you

It is common to miss previously familiar lives and routines. Past relationships and lifestyle habits play an important role in our daily lives, so when we start a new relationship, we may feel a sense of loss and discomfort. This doesn't mean that you want your ex to come back, but rather that you have a nostalgia for something familiar and comfortable.

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People who Teach, Empower, and Support you in every aspect of your life will fast-track your growth. Also, surrounding yourself with these people will give you an environment of freedom to talk about anything.

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I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

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Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

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Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

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It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

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TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

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Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

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3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

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Here to tell you guys that each of us mending from either leaving a bad relationship or having some leave us: things are going to be amazing for us! I believe if for myself and I am so happy! And meeting new people is FUN. Laughing with friends and being yourself, away from all the drama, pain. Liberate yourself by deciding this breakup is your evolution into your best self!

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I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

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Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

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