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Additional Posts in Working Parents in Law
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"post_content": "For those who are married to a working professional and have young children, what do you do to keep your marriage strong? (Cont below)",
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Monthly date nights are really important. In addition, if possible going to bed together really helps.
Getting family involved if possible to step away and watch the kids is really good method too.
100% agree that a monthly date night is absolutely essential. My wife and I are both lawyers with two children under the age of three. Having a monthly date night gives you an escape to look forward to and going on the date makes you feel like you’re on vacation even though it might just be a few hours. It is unbelievable what those few hours can do in terms of marriage mental health.
Ugh I hear you- the fact that you’re even aware of this is a really great sign that you’re already paying attention to the relationship (many forget the spouse once the kids come along)!
For my husband and I we always have like 20 mins together in bed before sleep to watch something short and silly together that keeps us happy- John Oliver, Parks &rec, the office, the wing challenge, whatever we try to have that time just right before we both pass out together.
When I was in a firm we also always made a point of having Sunday breakfast or brunch together- with the kid usually but almost always out because it made it special, our baby was better behaved and it was just a nice thing before I went in to work. This worked for us- might not work for you! We also sometimes did runs or hikes together on Sunday mornings to just be together before I had to go to work.
Now that I’m in-house, we rented a cheap ($3k for the entire season) ski condo without internet for the winter and we’ve told friends and family that if they want to see us, that’s where we’ll be on the weekends. It’s been amazing because it weeds out the pointless visits with people who are more just “checkboxes” on your list- and it gives us this cozy family time away and together every single weekend. I know this is unique to in- house, but I highly recommend it if you can swing it.
Good luck- It’s tough but clearly you’re already paying attention to the important stuff!
We have date night with a babysitter at least once a week, family dinner every night and use the cozi app for a shared calendar
It often feels like my partner and I are either ships passing in the night or existing in the chaos that is parenting small children. Often one or both of us has to log back online after putting the kids to bed. I am worried we are drifting apart and that are marriage can’t handle many more years of this.
Help?!
*our marriage (facepalm).
I did not. I tried to be everything in a good husband and dad and putting in max hours here only to be met with resentment of how she’s carrying the load and I’m not contributing enough. That got old and I’m done. Recently separated and love seeing my kids as much as possible, but living without constant judgment as a disappointment while I’m trying my best to be successful has been great and I think it’s helping me think more clearly and be more effective at work. I’d say an understanding spouse who supports you without resentment is key.
Date night at least once a month. Family dinners every night even if it's breakfast for dinner and we wolf down in 10 minutes. We try to give each other one kid free night so we have mental well being.
Divorcing