Struggling. I was blindsided by a 10 year affair (their spouse called me)

Mine said nothing happened since 2015, but more infidelity, far more recently, came to light. I always trusted them, and I've been burned badly.

I now have to heal on my own, while living in the same home.
They can co-parent, but are full of self-pity, excuses, & narcissism otherwise. Plus they keep lying.

I need to build solid infrastructure for my new life, while still trapped in my old one.
How do I do this?

My girlfriend is willing to break off our entire relationship because she found out my mom doesn't approve of her. We have no issues between each other but she said she can't be with someone who's family doesn't like her.

My 64 y/o mom is really struggling with her mental health and refuses to acknowledge it or take action. She is already difficult to have a relationship with, toxic, always shaming, blaming, dismissive and refuses to have important conversations.
6 years ago her husband/my step dad was killed suddenly and tragically. He had a man cave room that she has not touched since. It is beyond filthy, unsanitary and poor living conditions.

If I make attempts to clean, she has a meltdown. How to fix?

SIL and BIL told us excitedly last weekend that she was pregnant (had literally just found out, so barely four weeks). This week she tells us she’s not pregnant anymore :(. They did not seem super torn up about it and were very practical about it. We said how sorry we were, etc etc. should I do anything else? Should I not mention it again unless they do?

My girlfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 8 months now. We talk every single day online and recently I went to visit her for around a month. It was great and it seemed like the relationship was stronger than ever. But one week back after visiting her, I felt a strange detachment from her and our conversation topic got repetitive and stale quick. Any advice?

Only for men:

How do you deal with a best friend breakup?

I know friendship breakups between men are not talked about openly, but I had to.

Best friend was a Male too

Real talk ... if someone is over 35 and hasn’t been married before, do you automatically assume there is something wrong with them?

Anybody willing to help a broke kid out with some mock interview prep?

I have strong feelings for my friend who also happens to be my superior at work. We also flirt with each other sometimes. I don’t know what to do.

Partners with kids and a working spouse, how do you manage? Is it realistic for both people in the relationship to work full time long term? How do you keep marriage going and career progressing?

Lawyer Couples:
I’m currently an associate (no kids) in a very busy corp group (think 50-60 billable weekly). My wife works significantly less (currently part time, 10-15, but hopefully will be full time soon). I find myself getting upset when asked to help with basic household things (trash, cooking etc.) when she’s been lounging around watching Netflix all day. Am I being reasonable or am I a misogynist? How do you deal with one person having significantly more free time than the other?

Women- if your husband says he fantizes about xyz actresses and models- how would you feel?

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

SO and I are taking a break after a heated argument. I don’t know if I should reach out, how to know when I should, or if I should wait for them to. Why am I asking you guys? I’m at a loss.

I’m excited to marry my SO in a few months but I have severe stage fright and do not like being the center of attention. Any advice on how to reduce the anxiety and just enjoy the day?

Alright I’m calling it on my career at the ripe age of 28. Who needs a handsome house husband

How have you combated your fear of rejection? I fixate on such small things as when my friends, for example, reject plans I have made. This definitely makes me more averse to putting myself out there and makes me ruminate on past perceived failures, which are clearly not good for personal growth

After nearly a year WFH and being with my family 24/7, I’m not entirely sure we actually like each other. Or maybe they don’t like me being at home. Or they don’t like me. Probably the latter 😞

I have to tell my parents that I got engaged this weekend. They haven’t been taking the coming out well over the last year (i.e have isolated themselves from their community, screaming and crying when I’m on the phone with mom, dad hasn’t spoken to me since July). I’m incredibly nervous about this conversation. Going to have it in about two hours. Any words of advice?

How do you deal with a child who will pee on themselves for the attention? I have a student who does this two-three times a week. I have never experienced his before, and not sure what to do.

What would be the chance of getting call from Infosys HR? if it has been 2 weeks since they asked for documents just after the technical round. In the infosys porta application status showing review in progress.

How do you answer "Why are you looking to leave" at an interview? Obviously you can't tell the trust. 🤔 looking for serious answers

Hi all, Currently holding an offer of 14 lpa from Neudesic and have my 2nd round of interview from Bitwise tomorrow. Before the first round at Bitwise HR mentioned that they can give 16 lpa fixed. My joining date at Neudesic is tomorrow. Should I extend my joining? Is bitwise worth extending ? I'm applying for Azure Data Engineer role. Any inputs will be appreciated.Neudesic LLC Bitwise Solutions (India) Yoe - 2

I believe improving one’s sales conversion rate is something everyone want to improve but no one wants to admit they would like to work it. Funny how lawyers will spend thousands on seminars to improve trial skills. But this topic is not discussed in our profession. I have read books in sales. But am unable to find any for lawyers. I want convert every lead I can. Does anyone have tips, books, cle’s or studied this topic?

I have received an offer from EY GDS (MENA unit). How's the work life balance, stability etc in GDS MENA unit? Please let me know...
Yoe = 15, technology = Data warehousing

Any workarounds or tips to reduce gas fees gas ⛽?

Tether blowing up soon ?

Can H1B holders filed unemployment when serving grace period for 60 days? D provided information in Separate Memorandum?

Anyone in dental sales?

Can someone expect good WLB in Accenture?

Looking to take over a lease or sublet an entire place for 3k or less. Ideally in Manhattan. If anyone is leaving nyc in January or February and interested in transferring to me, please dm!

Still shaking my head at the CDC's corrected guidance on hydroxychloroquine. When will they get it together??

Are people called to chennai once every month especially SBA's @Tiger analytics? Or is it a permanent wfh for now?

Tiger Analytics has started firing their new joineers(freshers) as they don't have adequate projects. I don't know where the freshers will go as they haven't done any project as such.

This is just pathetic from organization. They are just firing people owing to failing a test of certification, for which other company gives 3 trials but they are giving only one try with negative markings

Has anyone figured out OneNote? I’m trying to get organized...again.

I always get to work an hour early. Is it okay for me to leave a little after 5:00?

Best Mens white formal and informal slim fit shirts?

What's your one regret from your time in the MBA program?

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

I still think of my ex. It’s been 9 months since our breakup. He cheated on me and although I walked away and never looked back, I still wonder how life is treating him. I know I deserve better. Sigh.

I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

Here to tell you guys that each of us mending from either leaving a bad relationship or having some leave us: things are going to be amazing for us! I believe if for myself and I am so happy! And meeting new people is FUN. Laughing with friends and being yourself, away from all the drama, pain. Liberate yourself by deciding this breakup is your evolution into your best self!

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.