A friend is going through a nasty divorce, and has confided in me over the years as his marriage deteriorated. His soon to be ex-wife texted me asking: “if I’d be willing to talk with her.” I know her casually, but he’s my friend of 20+ years. I really don’t want to get dragged into divorce proceedings. Do I just ignore the text? Decline to talk? Offer to talk but only for emotional support and say explicitly that I won’t talk about things me and my friend have discussed?

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I’d ignore the text- that’s some dangerous territory

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What could she possibly want? If she wants emotional support, better to get it through her own friends. Otherwise your friend will think you are taking sides. If you do offer to talk, have it be over text. You are right, she has lawyer skills and she will probably try to pry info out of you. You won’t have the same level of skill to protect yourself and will likely end up betraying your friend. It is best to not touch this at all.

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Yea, you and the previous responses are totally right. I’m going to ignore. There’s no benefit from me talking to her. Thank you all for the help in clarifying the path here.

Yes. She’s looking for intel. You don’t know if you have any she doesn’t. Nothing to be gained.

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I’ll also add, she’s a lawyer — so I worry that even a casual emotional support chat would devolve into an interrogation.

I would ignore and also let the husband know

I would say that you don't want to get involved with their divorce issues and leave it at that. Ignoring her text is rude, IMO

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