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Money isn’t the only validation in life that someone is successful. Never forget that.
Kanye is so much genius, i would call this one of his top 5 but there’s definitely a lot of golden words out of his mouth out there
Chinese kid with parent pleasing complex here 👋 Multiple years of therapy has made me realize I’ll never make my mother happy. And even if I do make my mother happy that won’t mean I’m happy.
In general after you hit a certain threshold ( eg can comfortably pay rent, food, clothes) money won’t scale with happiness. Figure out what you want out of life and solve for that
Your 25 and making six figures. You are doing well! Believe in yourself!
This is such a great post!
I think she's just pushing me so I stay driven, but I can't help but be sad that I'm not making more money. She wants me to go to MBA school so I can continue my trajectory, and I really don't want to. I spent undergrad doing engineering from a top school already. Am I accomplished so far? Am I complacent? I'm Indian and there's constant pressure to be the best 😭
Senior Manager 2: yaaa know what I mean!!! 🤷♀️😂
At 26 I was an engineering manager, got my MBA, and was offered $135k + $45k signing bonus.
My mom said the same thing, and i just rolled my eyes Now 34 and making $220k. You’ll be fine.
Base + bonus, SA level
While I make a lot more now - I didn’t make 100K at 25 . I was 29 when I got there . I am an Indian male .
The trick with Indian moms - never tell them exactly how much you make . They only mean good but you gain nothing by telling them your pay - you will just get depressed and they then wonder why you feel bad
Just say something like “I make enough”
I can only express my opinion based on my experience and the few thousand people I have led in my career . Can’t generalize at all - you are right
These cultural differences fascinate me. I cannot imagine my mom saying something like that. But also, I feel my folks could have pushed me harder (or at all) to be successful when I was younger. For 25 - you’re doing great! Good luck
When I was 25 I made $29,000. A year. Before taxes. $100k is a lot of money @ your age. Your mom is right that in your whole career and with 40 years ahead of you, your earning potential is much greater than $100k. But for now, pat yourself on the back and celebrate your (impressive) accomplishment- you’re earning a lot more than your peers. If you don’t want to get your MBA right now, don’t. You have your whole life ahead of you to get your MBA if YOU decide you want to.
On another note... I will give you some unrelated and unsolicited advice... SAVE, SAVE, SAVE your money. Fully fund your HSA (if you have one), max your retirement, do not carry debt and live well beneath your means. Cash is king. The more you have, the easier your life will be. Good for you girl, you’re crushing it.
VP1, wow your story sounds incredible. Thank you for sharing and for your wise words!
My mom doesn't work, and my family is well off (but I don't know how much my dad makes). It's normal for Indian moms to not work when they're a part of the older generation... also I'm a female!
Thank you all! Our parents secretly think we're all rockstars and just want us to continue singing all over the world and not be complacent lol 😂
OP sounds like you have the answer to your question already. It is your life so live it how YOU want it to be. You can't take all the money you will make to your grave
humble brag detection. i am also asian but i am not throwing the woe is me i am 6 figs am i overachieving tale. wake up/grow up. you are your own person figuring your own life, career and destiny out. don’t look for validation in a fishbowl—do some introspection and see what is really important to you. family can be white noise.
My family has always been my #1. Every major decision I make is determined if my parents will approve. It's just our culture 😐 I'm not trying to have people be sorry for me... I'm looking for anyone who is in my position or used to be in my position to share their thoughts. Thank you for yours
Perspective: anyone making over 90k is in the top 10% of all income in the US. You are killing it OP, don't listen to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise
Thank you 😊 a perspective like that can always make my day
When I got a job offer of $100k when I was 26 my mom said “are you sure you can do what they think you can do?” LOL. She made $65k at the peak of her career as a single mom and I never felt like there was anything I didn’t have.
LOL! Something I question myself every day!
Don’t tell your mom how much you earn. The sooner you stop setting your goals around your parents expectations, the sooner you can figure out what matter to you.
Comparison is the thief of joy, but complacency breeds stagnation. Everyone struggles with these, and your parents are probably well-meaning in trying to keep you from the second hazard even if they are underestimating the first. Take these talks as a reminder that more is always possible, but don’t let yourself get down over that either.
WOW thank you so much everyone for such supportive words. Reading about everyone's journey, especially for first generation Indians/Asians, has built a sense of community since many of our feelings are the same. We're all doing great, and our Indian parents truly do live vicariously through us. We just have to show them their struggle was worth it to provide us this life
As for the haters! I understand I'm coming from a very privileged position, and already have what many people dream of having. My parents have always been my #1 fan. When parents shift the goal post for us throughout life, it gets difficult at times to realize how far you've come if there's another mountain to climb. Sometimes I feel that I've climbed enough mountains for the moment, and just want to enjoy the view now 🤷♀️ 🏔
Wanted to say that you come across as a very sensible and well rounded person OP. It's very refreshing to see someone take the time to respond to everyone replying to your post, and to see you acknowledging your parents and family so pleasantly.
By the way, at your age I was making about $60K. Be proud of what you have achieved !
I was making less!
You are doing good. You are 25, in FAANG earning 6 digit salary, even though it’s pretty common for Asians, you have already accomplished a lot. This is the time to travel, find what you love to do, once you loose this time you will never get it back. It’s YOUR LIFE.
Oh makes sense, thanks OP!
It is for 25 yo! Just keep pushing and striving! You’ll hit 200k by the time you’re 30 or sooner. Test the job market every few years and see what you’re worth, you’ll do great
Good advice! I didn't think about testing the job market
The only question I see there is whether you should do a MBA. That’s a life changing decision, and entirely up to you, there are huge pro’s and con’s, so think about it carefully. Everything else is noise you can ignore, you are doing great, have a terrific career in front of you, focus on learning and making friends, those are the real valuable assets you can build now. Money is almost irrelevant once you have enough to comfortably focus on the other priorities
You certainly don’t need an MBA given your current experience, however as others said it can open other, more interesting options. Additionally, if marriage is on your radar, MBA can be a great place to meet people :) my wife and I met in bschool and there were several other couples from our class as well. Happens in every program bc you put a diverse group of people with similar interests in a situation where they spend tons of time together (often with alcohol involved).
Made $200k first year out of college! Was a banker though.