CAN YOU RELATE? Yesterday I had a run in w/ my office mean girl. As she berated me for reasons unknown I recalled the quote -hurt people hurt people. In that moment I wanted nothing more than to use my words to shut her down but I opted for a more compassionate approach in case she’s going through something thats causing her poor attitude. Being nice when all I wanted to do was yell was the hardest decision to make. Have any of you gone this route even when you didn’t want to? How’d it turn out?

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This kind of person that brings negativity into the office is a great indicator that her personal life is not where she wants it to be. I have been this person and it was because I was so deeply unhappy in so many other parts of my life, and it wasn't until much later that I learned how people, like myself, used the office to blow of steam. Whenever there is that feeling of anger that rises in you dealing with her, your immediate reaction emotionally should be to feel bad for her. Hopefully she learns because there is nothing but sadness for her moving forward if she doesn't shape up.

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Thank you for your candid response.

Yes, and what you did was wise. I was sexually harassed and discriminated against by a female colleague for years. She would say the most disgusting and offensive things and send me inappropriate emails in an attempt to get under my skin. If I even came close to losing my temper, she would cry victim and management would come down on me like a ton of bricks. Only after I filed an EEOC complaint and sent them a five inches pile of evidence was she forced to resign or be fired. So, the moral of the story is that keeping your cool and professionalism in a situation will often work in your favor because it makes you look like the adult in the room. My suggestion is to document. Find out if your state has a one-party law in regard to recording conversations. If it does, record her tirades and let her hang herself.

Compassion disrupts the negativity cycle. Instead of adding fuel to the fire, you choose understanding, which can short circuit the whole mean girl routine. You become the unexpected variable, forcing her to reconsider her behavior.

I totally get this, I have had the same issue with a group of the (mean girls club) but I feel it's even worse because this person is bestie with the boss

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