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So my wife has anxiety and we just talked about this term last week because she learned of a colleague who has severe anxiety. I always thought high functioning anxiety was a compliment because it meant that despite her anxiety, she functions normally and isn’t held back by her anxiety. Well last week she corrected me and said while that’s true, it also means deep down she’s constantly fighting anxiety 24/7 and almost everything she does is a way to try to move past it.
While I tend to overthink, I definitely wouldn’t say I have anxiety, and I commend anyone living with it and doing the best they can do for themselves. I will never fully understand what my wife goes through on a daily basis, but I’m always learning and trying to be the best husband I can be for her.
The hardest part for me is that I’m the type that’s extremely helpful and wants to solve every problem and provide helpful advice; I’ve learned that doesn’t always work with someone who has anxiety. My wife may fully understand the advice I’m trying to give her in certain situations, but it’s like her brain literally won’t allow her to think the way she knows she should be thinking, so it’s a constant battle for her. As hard as it is, I’ve learned to just let her vent and accept that at times, saying/doing nothing is exactly what she needs at the moment.
I do emphasize to her that when I’m being quiet, it’s because I’ve learned a lot in trying to help her deal with situations and realized that me trying to solve everything doesn’t help. It’s never because I don’t care; I care deeply and it eats at me that I can’t do anything to help. Despite all of this, I’d say we live a great life overall and this is just something we have to be aware of and learn how to live with.