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Aw 🙁 based on what you posted, I do think you made the right decision. It didn't seem like a true partnership 😕
Please give yourself breaks and distractions. And feel free to rant as much as possible. I was hurt by a guy who I thought was my friend, and while my situation wasn't as intense as yours, it did affect my self esteem a lot. Ranting helped me release the last portion of the toxic friendship I was holding on to. It made moving on easier.
If you haven’t already I’d recommend you seek out a therapist to work through these issues with. Your emotions are more complex than you realize and suicidal thoughts are serious.
I also feel like seeing a therapist and using KPMG’s resources will help you out of this. You weren’t happy in your situation so you made the decision to get out of it. Don’t doubt yourself. Seek out friendships and try to plan some work events to connect with others. Take each day as it is. It’s better to be on your own than with someone who you aren’t seeing and someone who sounds like fell out of it with you.join some dating apps. Talk to people a while before you meet them. My connections have been much better with people I’ve spoken to online for 2 months before ever meeting. To each their own.
KPMG OP, I PROMISE YOU you have made the right move! There is someone out there much better for you! Let the guy go who doesn’t make you a priority in his life. And make YOURSELF your priority by shutting the door on that chapter in your dating life and start re-learning to enjoy life and be happy for and by yourself AND THEN and ONLY THEN will you attract something better into your life. Like attracts like! You kicked him to the curb for a reason. YOU DESERVE BETTER! Be grateful that your EX will never have the power to disappoint you again. Speaking from experience...the BEST is yet to come! Your VALUE has nothing to do with his poor behavior! I applaud you for having the backbone to walk away! Take a deep breath and pamper yourself. A new day is on the horizon! 💕🙌🏻🍀
Hey so sorry that you’re going through this but I want to assure you that it will be ok. You did what was best for you. It is normal to feel sad but not to the extent of suicidal thoughts. This is a great time to start hanging out more with your friends and use them as a support system. That is a tremendous help speaking from experience. You can always seek professional help as well. Stay strong because everything works out at the end ALWAYS.
It's normal to feel sad after breaking off a long term relationship. I've been there too. I'm still in therapy 2 years later. I will say though, be careful not to start thinking about just the good in the relationship and forget what made you upset. Start casually dating people, go out more, do things you've always wanted to do but put off. Maybe that's visiting a museum, a different country, volunteering etc. Make a list of what you enjoy and knock it off one by one. Wish you nothing but the best ❤
KPMG OP...not a psychiatrist, but those suicidal feelings you are experiencing can be a sign of codependency, whereby your self-worth is tied to the way your EX-BF treats you, instead of relying on your healthy self-esteem to provide the emotional security and good feelings you have. The happier you are from within determines what manifests outwardly. I spent years being miserable about my dating life until I realized I was the common denominator! 🦋
For a while he said he would want kids, and then started saying that he didn’t think he would. He would usually make decisions about his own financial security instead of for “us” - for example, he started an overnight position because it paid more money and made him feel more secure, but this meant we literally never saw each other except in passing as we came and went for work. And he accepted that job without a discussion with me about it to see how I would feel. After a while, I decided that it looked like I would never come first in anything, and decided to end the relationship and moved quite far away. It’s been 4 months, and I feel so listless and depressed. I have days where I can barely get up and my thoughts wander towards suicidal themes. I feel so trapped in my own mind. I miss him everyday. Everyone I confide in tells me that I made the right decision based on everything that happened over the years. I’m not so sure that I have. I wish I had a time machine to just pop into my future and see what will happen so I can know what to expect. I don’t know how much is the discomfort of missing him since we were together for so long versus sadness because I’ve made the wrong decision. Just don’t know what to do. 😢
find a therapist... I wished I talked to one in my 20s
Thanks everyone ❤️❤️
and yes, absolutely correct decision
It absolutely sounds like you made the correct decision. Someone who is always making decisions for themselves or without discussing with you might be kind of selfish and that would be trouble down the road. Although it may feel horrible now and trust I've been in that situation and felt like my world was ending, know that it's a blessing in disguise. If all the things that happened in my relationships in the past didn't turn out the way they did then I wouldn't have met my current fiancé. Maybe try online dating? That's what I did. And just remember things do happen for a reason and u will absolutely meet someone who will make u a priority and discuss things with you and who is ready to settle down etc.
I don’t even have anger for him so I feel like I can’t rant. I’m just sad :(