Is it normal for women to be able to move on no matter who the guy was?

I know it’s generalizing, but it always seems like it’s the guy who never forgets their love and loved in the most genuine way, while women just seem to be able to shrug things off

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Lol I’m assuming you’re a guy? Bc I feel the exact opposite from you and I’m still torn up months later while he’s forgotten my existence already

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I get it though you’re heartbroken and its hard to see. I also went through a big ‘all men are trash’ phase and still have moments. One person doesn’t represent a whole gender

As a female I’ve been asking men since i was 23 if they ever had the “one who got away”. Almost every single one does, and i haven’t come across a woman with the same mindset.

From my basic ass self research, these are my thoughts loosely held.

In very general heteronormative terms, i think it comes down to social conditioning. Men are subconsciously taught to “own” in a relationship, women subconsciously taught to be “won” or “owned”.

So if a woman does everything right in a relationship, and the guy still discards her…well time to dust myself off and try again. We’re used to being sought after, courted, and then discarded. We’re used to knowing men will go after the younger and prettier woman than our aging selves. We’re used to knowing we have a time limit…so it may be in some ways smaller of a wound when we are dumped (doesn’t mean it hurts less, but the psychological mending may be a bit quicker as our expectations are slightly different)

But for men, i think it’s tougher because if you are truly inspired to be your best self and show up that way, and the woman still leaves you, i think it’s a bigger wound. Like “i did everything right and i still couldn’t keep her. What’s wrong w me” type of epiphany.

Also guys tend to subconsciously view women with a more motherly or virginal complex at times that can make it seem like the woman they lost was such a profound person.

Honestly, all it comes down to is forgiving your self, forgiving your partner, and moving on from a relationship with the understanding you will never have that connection again…which leads to two things you must realize. 1) be eternally grateful you got to experience such a connection while alive and 2) there is another profound and wonderful potential for a connection in your future. It shouldn’t and won’t look the same as your first. Emotional connection is infinite and a full spectrum. Possibilities are endless

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Love it, EA1!

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Well, I can only talk about myself. I do not regret leaving any of my relationships nor do I want any of the men who left me back. When I am with someone I only see them, I give it my 100%, give it many chances. But when they disrespect me or leave, I know it’s not a person worth keeping in my life. So I become extremely grateful that they left and thank them for the lessons.

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lol no way

How so?

my ex haven’t even cried. I lost 5kg in 4 days after he left. if now 3 weeks later (after humiliating myself asking to get back and receiving a text message with a “no”) I’m dating, I don’t feel he’s even allowed to say anything. to hell with his heart made of ice

I agree with C1- as a woman, I feel like it's guys who move on super quickly and women are left blind sided and heart broken. My ex started dating someone a week after we broke up, and then he did the exact same things to her that he did to me. She and I eventually bonded over the heartbreak.

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