In a cruel twist of fate, my ex showed up in the random array of fishbowl networking pics today. Set me back because I have gone no contact and deleted everything about them from my phone. Ughhh 🫠

28, still haven't moved out of parents' home. Anyone else in similar situation?

Any dads out here? Wife is 20 weeks pregnant with our first and want to connect and know from fellow dads on how are they coping. How are you helping your partner? Feel I am not doing enough. Except for getting ready with the finances.

Pregnant moms, feel free to provide suggestions on what your partner is doing which you really appreciate. I got the foot massage part covered. 😉

Is it normal to feel depressed/lonely during wedding planning? I almost feel like I can’t talk about it since other people aren’t engaged and I feel like I’m rubbing it in their faces talking about it. So I have to keep everything to myself and it’s kind of stressful

A question to my unmarried friends
What is stopping you from falling in love with a girl and marrying out of own choice
You are independent,earn well so what is the roadblock?

Any other ladies get so frustrated by forced family set ups? I swear I only hear from my extended family when it’s about set ups and my marriage status. And usually it’s just them praising the guy and telling me to make it work since I’m getting old (early 30s) 🤦🏽‍♀️

How do you manage a long distance relationship? I got engaged 3 months ago and my fiancé and I live in different cities. I just can’t stop thinking about her and feel horrible there on.

First-gen grad students, does your family put pressure on you to succeed? It feels like our relationship is them just bugging me about my work. I’d love some advice, I miss my fam.

Hi i lost majority of my money in the stock market. I married and promised my family that I will not make the mistake I made 7 years ago. Gambling. Is this an addiction I have. I keep selling stocks and taking loses buying other stock hoping it will recover but never did and sell again taking loses and buy again. It now sink in to me. I borrow personal loan hoping that the market will do k and I pay it back but I even lost that. I can't stop crying that I hurt the one I love the most my family.

How do you and your partner (married or not married) split financials?

I got an email last night from a 7th-grade parent because her son said I mentioned the words "male privilege" in class, and she is very concerned about how that is related to ELA (she said "reading"), and she is concerned about this being taught in public schools. To be clear, I didn't do a lesson on this subject but we did discuss rights versus privileges. I've had multiple parents contact the school/get upset with me because of things like his. It's exhausting... Thoughts?

Women- if your husband says he fantizes about xyz actresses and models- how would you feel?

Asking for a friend - anyone staying in a marriage just for the kid(s)?

It's not like the marriage is terrible or unhealthy, but they would take an out if not for having had the kids.

Anyone else experience this? I'm wondering how common this is.

I hate it when people try to bond with me over trauma when their trauma is that they fight a lot with their spouse or they didn’t get the promotion they wanted. How is that staring death in the face??

Looking to spark a discussion here..
My wife and I both of us extremely busy execs with a heavy duty work schedule have an interesting dynamic: It doesn’t matter what time of the night but it’s usually 2,3,4,5 am - she wakes up and disregarding that I’m completely asleep wants action from me. She’ll climb the hill or poke it. This gets me frustrated at times given that I really need to recharge at night, but usually ready to go at 8am - how can we work through this situation?

How have you combated your fear of rejection? I fixate on such small things as when my friends, for example, reject plans I have made. This definitely makes me more averse to putting myself out there and makes me ruminate on past perceived failures, which are clearly not good for personal growth

My fiancé will NOT stop talking about her ex. After I found out they were texting arguing she justified it by saying it was about the dogs and not them. Even though Her social media is full of his pics. She still sends him $50 a month for dog food, still goes to work right by his place and suspiciously needs keys. I try to bring it up and I get dismantled for being too mean and making “false accusations.” How much more obvious can it be?

How many of you are staying in a marriage where there’s lack of true love but there is comfort or kids or whatever else holding you back? I crave that love but it’s easier to just stay put than leave. Sigh

Boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot for a while. He broke up with me, but then we decided to try to make it work after we talked. I don’t want to end my relationship. Any ideas how to save and salvage a relationship on the bricks of ending

Last night I went over to my friends house (she has 2 kids, 2 and 4 yo). She and her husband were asking me about my pregnancy and planning. And were asking what I’ve prepped to date. I’m only 13w2 days so I think it’s way to early for buying stuff, but I did mention we hired a baby nurse for when the baby comes. My friend completely berated me, short of calling me a bad mom already, saying “what is she going to do all day? Don’t you want to bond with your child?”. I’m so upset by this.

Do you think Trump will win the general election if he runs again in 2024?

Is a TRX sufficient for getting back into shape? I’ve definitely wasted these past two months but I probably won’t be going back to work until after July so I’ve got time to build a foundation once gyms open back up at a decent capacity

I'm moving my firm to a non hourly model. I want to encourage efficiency and discourage the work your life away model.

For litgation we're thinking past pleadings and MTDS then X, Discovery than Y, SMJ motions then Z trial then Q.

What are your thoughts on this ? What are my issues here. I think the hardest one is to predict discovery. But I also think we can outsource some of this to cheeper labor and lean on our tech to not actually have to review everything.

What’s your most hated/dreadful chore?
I hate doing laundry 🧺 and folding/putting it away.

Is it normal for a Product Owner to lay out specs for how a feature should work?

I thought that was my job as the ux designer to figure out the best way to solve a need. But I’m getting handed projects where the PO, and sometimes the senior designer has laid out exactly what should happen (components used, flow, etc) to design a feature. It’s really frustrating because I don’t know if I’m supposed to be speaking up on what I think or just do the UI work I’m asked to.

Philly fishbowl happy hour after Covid???

Soooo how are we feeling about booking flights to Europe for early spring? Less so worried about getting covid as I’m boosted but more so about worsening restrictions. I’m looking at countries that have already announced they aren’t changing restrictions BUT the flights have layovers in countries that are (ie UK, France, Germany). Also wondering when to book as prices for those flights seem to be skyrocketing.

Chris Stapleton might be a cool guy. Maybe he has some good music. But every time I hear him sing “drive on” during a Ram commercial I want to punch him in the face. Ram has overplayed that one.

I work in tech in DC area with a salary of 110k. I had 1 YOE when I got the job about 6 months ago. My friend gets paid 150k with 2.5 YOE also in tech. What’s a good TC for SWE/DS in DC area with 2 YOE? I’m feeling insecure about my pay

Are there any tools /ways to perform automated testing/ BVT of Microsoft Power BI paginated reports?

Anyone who has prior knowledge/experience please help, any kind of links of documents or videos will help too.

Hi everyone, any referral for SDE-2 roles?

Current role - Specialist Programmer at Infosys

yoe - 3

Friends,
Need your help to know data tables and fields for a report I have to prepare on following problem
- Goods are produced but quantities don't not match when they are moved to warehouse from plant. So a report showing produced quantity and received at warehouse and if there is any logistic data that can help investigate.
Thanks!

What is the one thing you would change about your firm if you could?

Newly minted Creative directors: What's the going salary these days in a major US market? SF, NYC, Boston, Chicago, LA.

Q: I’m reworking/updating my books— how are you going to include toolkit for other markets in your book? (Want to sell my contribution For concept and art direction+design in collaterals)

Hey Fishes ! Wanted to know if deloitte has stopped its hiring process for Developers ? Or is it going to stop soon ?

Has anyone used RCN internet? If so what were your thoughts? About to move into an apt in LIC and they are offering a deal with RCN for first 6 months but I’ve never heard of RCN.

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

I made a mistake. I talked with the ex this morning. He said he misses me. And that while he walk talking to the other woman, he wished he was talking to me instead. And when he saw that I didn’t respond to his texts, he drank a shit ton. And then called this morning.

He’s not willing to commit to the other women because he’s not over me.

I need to block him.

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

Why do we always tell people “Be the best version of yourself before starting a relationship?”
I feel this is wrong…first, if you’re someone who constantly wants to be better, this doesn’t work. Also, what happens when you’re going through things and you’re not the best version? What happens is…the going gets tough and then one person leaves the other.

Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

My partner of 5 years ended our relationship last night. I’m shattered and feel absolutely sick, and I know the healing isn’t going to be easy. We were on the verge of an engagement and I was ready to spend the rest of my life with him.

I don’t know how to approach work during this time. I think I can get by, but I’m definitely not 100%. Should I talk to my boss about it? My team is close-knit and comfortable around each other, but I don’t know if it’s “appropriate.” What would you do?

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼