Women with kids in public accounting specifically in audit, HOW DO YOU DO IT?Genuinely looking for a good response because I’m losing it. I have no life, I barely see my child, and I have another one on the way. I’m depressed because it feels like my life revolves around work and I hate it. I’m working to help provide so quitting isn’t an option. But I’m struggling mentally and physically. I gained so much weight from just sitting at a desk. I’m tired and I just want to spend time with my child

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It’s HARD. My wife and I have 3 kids and both have demanding jobs. It’s absolutely a struggle, but there are a handful of things we’ve done to navigate it.

First, your spouse absolutely has to be involved and share the burden. I’ve seen too many moms drowning with responsibility and the husband can’t be bothered to help with the kids, skip a round of golf, whatever. If your spouse isn’t sharing the burden, there’s no chance.

If that’s not an issue, outsource as much as you can. Housecleaning, lawn care, etc. - your time is precious and limited, spend it with your kids and spouse, not doing chores you can offload.

Also, make sure that time with your family is dedicated to them. Don’t check work emails, put the phone away, and focus on them. It’s about the quality of the time with family that’s most important. Give them your undivided attention when you’re together.

Lastly, give yourself grace. Some things are going to fall through the cracks - and that’s ok. Choose your battles and don’t feel guilty if things aren’t perfect.

Your mileage may vary on all this and it’s still a hell of a challenge, but it’s helped my wife and I both succeed at work without feeling like we’ve sacrificed family time for it.

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Couldn’t have said it better. My husband is also in public accounting and the only way we can make it work is sharing duties and outsourcing.

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I’m a man in audit, but a parent as well. I am currently on paternity leave and terrified to go back. I also don’t understand how people do it. I am a high achiever, but I think this first busy season as a parent will be really telling on whether or not I can cut it as an auditor long term. I don’t think I will be able to work until midnight regularly like I used to

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It's time to leave PA. You can get a raise and better WLB in private industry

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Reframe your perspective on work! I have to do it sometimes multiple times a day. I used to be the top performer in all arenas of work but now I’m a reliable and efficient performer and that’s it. I cannot give 120% in my career and still expect to be the best mother to my children and take care of my own needs.

First step is SET BOUNDARIES. At 5:30-8:30 during busy season I am unavailable to work. Point blank. I am on mom duty- I even set my status as such. Also, a few times a week I block an hour of time to go walk, run, exercise, take a long shower, whatever.

You just need to get comfortable “letting the low end drag” at times. It’s okay. You’re one person.

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It’s not easy. I had to do that too. I was not happy about it, but my family comes first. What the poster didn’t say is after 8:30 she’s probably working until all hours of the night. It’s not easy and comments like this don’t help.

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It is way easier in PA after you make manager. I had my first child after one year as manager. That was 21 years ago. I went on a reduced workload. It’s been working for me my whole career. Also basically WFH long before it was a thing. I left PA for industry for 2 years but it was boring and not flexible. I’ve never missed any of my kids events. If you can hang on until manager, you have more control of your schedule. Go on FWA if you can take the pay cut.

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The answer is you don’t

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So is it that women in PA audit with a family can’t succeed professionally and personally? Least insightful comment.

Go work for the government, IRS is hiring CPAs like crazy. The pay is often matched to your current pay. Can always go back to industry or PA when your kids are older.

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I did a flexible work arrangement after my second child was born for 5 years at 80%. My kids were 11 and 8 when I went back full time and it was hard, but different. I did work at home after going back full time, before work at home was normal. It helped me maintain my sanity. It doesn’t really change as they get older, it’s just different stages. Now they are teenagers and I work at home more now than ever. It goes so fast and I don’t want to miss it. You have to take care of yourself, walking is my time, 3 to 4 miles a day. Two years ago I burned out completely and switched firms because I needed more support from the leadership team. Therapy also helps.

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Following. I’m in tax but am planning to have a child soon while also working toward partner and I’m not sure how people do it all. I have never felt a need to stay home with a child or be the superstar parent or to take on a larger portion of housework/responsibilities, but I do believe in being present with family and also contributing to the household, and a person only has so many hours in a day and so much physical and mental energy to go around.

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Reduce workload

Best decision I’ve made; I do 40 hours year round and I have 0 regrets

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Yeah, reduce pay; it sucks taking a cut, but better than depression, feeling like I’m failing, or missing out on things.

Money will always return to you, time with your family won’t.

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It is impossible and some years I've been less ambitious than others. A supportive partner is #1. As you move up it's easier to pick your schedule so that helps. This career was not made for us working moms but I love what I do so I'm not going to let it stop me. If you also enjoy what you do hang in there and stay motivated! Otherwise it will burn you out and won't be worth it.

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It’s impossible.

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I was not in same situation but I am 15 years ahead of you in age and can possibly give you some perspective. I worked when kids were small but I had a nanny who took care of the house as much as she could while she took care of kids. Later they went to school. The good thing is that we saved money so that now I have an option to pause work and be with kids and relax (suffering from major burnout from work, home and all other obligations).
So over time all of these obligations mixed with guilt for not being with kids will possibly reach boiling point. Kids will be fine but you have to watch for yourself too so you can be happy and healthy for them for the long run.
I am glad I worked but wished I was even more frugal (we don’t need big homes, fancy cars, etc). What I am trying to say: do what works for you, examine your priorities and see where you want to be in 10 years. It’s not easy for mothers, we can’t do it all but we can find a balance. The sooner you find that balance the better it is for you and the family.

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100% agree <3

They stop caring so much about the damn kids. Or the husband does most of the work. Be realistic, how else would they do it?

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Reduced workload saved me. Or move to a smaller house and quit. Not worth feeling like that to maintain some lifestyle that our society created that’s basically crap.

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I had four kids while working in audit. Left as a snr mgr. It was a constant shit show. I would have hired a housekeeper. :) but honestly, when my marriage fell apart I was so grateful to have had my career. Industry was great, until it wasn’t …. And now I have my own firm.

How hard was it to start your own firm? Do you still specialize in audit?

Keep in mind that you have a skill set that many employers want. You can always do remote work for small businesses/NPOs. Might not be 'glamorous' but it pays the bills. Also, there are many virtual CFO firms out there that are needing CPAs, especially if they have an audit back ground. Just go to their job openings page on their website. I personally work virtually for several companies and get to take my kids to school in the morning, pick them up, go to travel soccer games, ect.. Would never go back to corporate world, especially PA.

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