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I think it’s OK to still feel sad and appreciate and enjoy someone new. I don’t think you need to be 100% healed to move forward. You’re aware of it and I think that’s the biggest part. Acknowledge the feelings and feel them and keep putting one step in front of the other!
This is really insightful: “Acknowledge the feelings and feel them and keep putting one step in front of the other.” Wrote it down to keep. Thank you @EP1
How long/serious was your previous relationship? How did it end (unexpectedly vs. slow fade, mutual vs. one-sided, no contact vs. lots of back and forth)? Were you able to work through any need for closure in therapy?
Fwiw, I think it’s VERY normal that going back into the dating scene elicits a ton of emotions and memories from your previous one, esp if you had dreamt of a future together
I’m in the same boat. I sometime actually pretend it’s my ex that’s there with me during the dates. Clearly haven’t got over it.
Me too!
Take is slow and try to have fun. Not every relationship needs to be deep and long term. This new guy might be right for you right now. The pressure we put on ourselves to need things to work out is too much!
i’m in a very similar boat. i think you’re allowed to miss them/have nostalgia but still have space for someone new. just bc you miss them doesn’t mean you want them back. they were a huge part of your life and even if you find a new romantic partner the memories you made with your ex will be unique to them and it’s okay to cherish those forever. i think all of this is possible but only healthy if you can still be present with your new partner
you might also just be having a subconscious fear of it not working out again. which is fine. it is scary but you have to put your best foot forward. don’t be avoidant!
and abt “feeling like you should have moved on”, as cliche as it sounds there’s no timeline. take your time! everyone is on a different path and don’t let society tell you that you’re off track