Any words of wisdom? I am seeing someone new and he is great. But I still feel so damn sad that my last relationship didn’t work out. It’s almost like trying to date is bringing back the heartbreak I felt a year ago. I’ve done a lot of therapy and have moved on with my life. Maybe it’s still too soon? I feel I should have moved on by now.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I think it’s OK to still feel sad and appreciate and enjoy someone new. I don’t think you need to be 100% healed to move forward. You’re aware of it and I think that’s the biggest part. Acknowledge the feelings and feel them and keep putting one step in front of the other!

smartlike

This is really insightful: “Acknowledge the feelings and feel them and keep putting one step in front of the other.” Wrote it down to keep. Thank you @EP1

likesmart

How long/serious was your previous relationship? How did it end (unexpectedly vs. slow fade, mutual vs. one-sided, no contact vs. lots of back and forth)? Were you able to work through any need for closure in therapy?

Fwiw, I think it’s VERY normal that going back into the dating scene elicits a ton of emotions and memories from your previous one, esp if you had dreamt of a future together

like

I’m in the same boat. I sometime actually pretend it’s my ex that’s there with me during the dates. Clearly haven’t got over it.

Me too!

Take is slow and try to have fun. Not every relationship needs to be deep and long term. This new guy might be right for you right now. The pressure we put on ourselves to need things to work out is too much!

i’m in a very similar boat. i think you’re allowed to miss them/have nostalgia but still have space for someone new. just bc you miss them doesn’t mean you want them back. they were a huge part of your life and even if you find a new romantic partner the memories you made with your ex will be unique to them and it’s okay to cherish those forever. i think all of this is possible but only healthy if you can still be present with your new partner

you might also just be having a subconscious fear of it not working out again. which is fine. it is scary but you have to put your best foot forward. don’t be avoidant!

and abt “feeling like you should have moved on”, as cliche as it sounds there’s no timeline. take your time! everyone is on a different path and don’t let society tell you that you’re off track

Related Posts

Been having trouble moving on since girlfriend ended relationship 3 weeks ago after 2+ years of dating. Before ending it she came over 3 weeks prior to basically give me a chance to work things out and we had a good discussion but then I went back into our routine and didn’t really fight for it or have serious follow up convos that we needed. Now I just have so many regrets that I let her go. I know we still love each other and left on “good” terms but can’t forgive myself for my lack of action.

like

I’ve been pulling 16 hour days the past couple of weeks. I haven’t taken any personal time, I’m burnt and my gf hates me 4 it. Is this normal? What do you guys do when work literally never ends?

like

Completely off topic
I don't have any friends.. sometimes i feel very lonely.. i don't have anyone to share my thoughts or feeling.. there is this void.. trying to pickup things to distract myself but it's not helping much... Seeking your inputs!! Sorry for this off topic question.

like

Getting about $2200 back from Federal and $1300 back from NY State. Claimed 2 for both last year and having 2nd kid this year. Should I bump to 3 or keep as is?

How do I figure out spending with my SO? Initially I was paying for 90% of stuff (no actual bills, just going out). I talked to her and said we need to be more even. She was never proactive. She kind of got offended but we ended on a good note to split things. It went well for a couple weeks but now it's back to normal. She never takes out her card and only venmos me if I send her the request. She lets Venmos sit for weeks before paying them. I still let a lot of things slide.

like

Been with my GF since college and we recently hit the 4 year mark. 1-2 years into our relationship I found out she had instances of micro-cheating (flirting with guys, talking to ex’s etc - but nothing physical) and we addressed it. To her credit and my knowledge, she’s been apologetic and great at respecting boundaries since, but I still feel the pain from her actions years ago (and have talked to her about it). Feeling lost about whether to just leave or to try and work things out

like

Catholic school parent expect grade changes two days before grades close- student didn’t want assistance during the trimester and parents never reached out until now- how have you all seen that handled?

Seriously don't know how to get a boyfriend as an IB analyst, most people who are in a relationship started dating since college. Really don't want to be single when I'm 30•••

like

Hard to make friends here - just moved to the city and found out all my friends here are in pair. Need friends to go out with

like

why do i struggle when my s/o isn’t texting me? ik they’re not cheating on me, ik they still love me, all that jazz.

but for some reason i’m not at peace when they take some time to themselves.

any tips or advice?

likefunny

Your child asks you if they should become a nurse. What do you say?

like

People that have small children - how do you deal with your child’s stress and separation anxiety when you go to work? My 4-year old goes berserk almost every day at some point relating to me having to work. The worst part is that I’ve been working from home bc of Covid and I’m literally just walking upstairs after giving hugs and kisses and saying see you soon 800 times. My spouse is a stay at home parent, but that doesn’t seem to matter to my son. A piece of me dies everyday because of this.

likehelpful

First boyfriend i’ve had during the holidays and he’s away at home. I’m so bored 🙁😞

like

My mother in law is dying of cancer but is also a toxic person. My husband has mixed feelings around letting her dump all of her emotions that should be handled with a therapist on him. Beyond this,

like

My fiancé will NOT stop talking about her ex. After I found out they were texting arguing she justified it by saying it was about the dogs and not them. Even though Her social media is full of his pics. She still sends him $50 a month for dog food, still goes to work right by his place and suspiciously needs keys. I try to bring it up and I get dismantled for being too mean and making “false accusations.” How much more obvious can it be?

like

Just found out my boyfriend of 3 months (talking stage was about 6 months before making it official) slept with his ex a couple times while we were talking. After we agreed to be exclusive. Without protection. I’m so crushed 😞

like

Do you think you and your significant other should have similar personalities? My significant other and I are doing long distance and I feel like when I FaceTime with him, I emote more and show interest by asking more questions but from his end, he doesn’t always have a reaction or just nods, and it makes me feel like he’s uninterested. On his end he sees it as he’s comfortable.

like

Realizing that I am way too old for nights

like

Any tips for hard launching partners on social media? For context, I’ve (Indian American female) been dating my white American boyfriend for 3 years and we just got engaged after two years of convincing my parents. They are very happy and excited now, but I’m scared shitless about being ostracized / judged by my extended family and Indian community in the US once I “let the cat out of the bag” on the engagement news. I want to be proud and confident about this but could use some moral support.

like

Boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot for a while. He broke up with me, but then we decided to try to make it work after we talked. I don’t want to end my relationship. Any ideas how to save and salvage a relationship on the bricks of ending

likesmartfunny

More Posts

Promotion letter received for October cycle 2021?

like

What is avg salary for 5yoe java fullstack dev in UAE

Anyone from AstraZeneca willing to chat about a potential referral? Interested in an AD role posted.

like

What is annual salary increase for SA at Alvarez and Marsal? I applied for director role but offered SA since I have extensive industry experience but no prior consulting. I was offered additional compensation paid out over first year but concerned the annual increase will be less than the first year additional pay. If 15% increase reasonable for SA or only with promotion?

like

Thinking of moving to NYC from the west coast for family reasons. The concern, however, is whether I'm too spoiled by the west coast environment / hours. Additionally, how is housing/rent there?

like

What are the advantages and disadvantages of working as an immigration attorney for a nonprofit?

What do you think is a a fair pay for a renewals specialist?

I’m currently a team manager for a team of 8 renewals specialist and I feel like my team is getting low balled by upper management. We are remote.

Would love to hear some feedback.

Recently been reinfected with covid Seems to be rare just wondering if others are retesting positive....I was positive in April went into lungs had it bad...this run seems to be much milder thank goodness Gi upset and lost of taste.

like

Anybody at IBM who can refer me

like

Hi anyone working in HCl here, has any idea on the timelines when the salary hikes will be communicated?

like

Anyone want to grab a coffee or lunch today? (M26, married)

like

I'm hiring for an analytics manager role. M&A Healthcare focus. Effectively work with PE on "business diligence".

Revenue cycle management experience is a big plus. Not much ML used in the practice but I'm trying to change that.

In an ideal world you know ML, PowerBI, alteryx, and rev cycle. Bit of a unicorn ask.

If anyone is interested feel free to hit me up.

like

TEKsystems Which company is better to work for Accenture, KPMG or Teksystems for the role of ServiceNow Developer?

like

I currently looking for jobs at Point72 Asset Management. Does someone know if the offer remote work? Is it a good place to work at?

like

War correspondents, how did that become your focus?

like

Is it natural to be happy then sad then happy again or on an emotional roller coaster in your career? Or is there such thing as work nirvana?is it possible to truly like your job and enjoy it every day? Or are hard days inevitable?

like

My fiance is an American any idea if PwC sponsors green card if I filed through marriage or if I had to do it myself how would one go about it?

like

The blasts in Sri Lanka are just despicable. What do people want? I assume if this happened in India the easy answer would be “Kashmiri Independence” Struggle to find answers for this one.

Additional Posts in Heartbreak Help

Any suggestions for how to keep my mind and body busy? My job is painfully slow and not challenging and I’ve started to re read old texts and have OD’d on Matthew Hussey videos. What are practical things I can start to help turn this next chapter? Besides job hunting! I feel like I need to throw myself into something worthwhile that I feel good about! I just don’t have inspiration or motivation right now. I feel flat.

like

It’s such an unsettling feeling to want to hear from someone and not want to at the same time. I’m shocked I haven’t thrown my phone against a wall. My mind wants a Rage Room but my body is exhausted and just wants sleep.

like

It’s been 5 weeks and I haven’t gone a day or night without crying and feeling haunted by them. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t produce quality work, can’t find joy in anything I previously loved. This is the worst physical and psychological pain I’ve ever experienced.

likehelpful

I felt like a walking zombie during thanksgiving, barely eating and barely talking. My family is small and I told them ahead of time my relationship ended. I focused on my niece and nephews, cried when I wanted to and slept from 8pm-noon for the last 5 days. Showered once or twice. That’s the best I could do and that’s OK right now. I’m back in my apartment, just trying to take it one day at a time, and not re read his texts too much. My birthday is Thursday 🙄

like

I’m so happy this bowl exists 🥹🫶🏼

likeuplifting

I just need some Brugal rum, Aventura or Romeo Santos songs on repeat all night…

like

Well, I was the one who broke it off. I couldn’t get him to love me the way I needed or even respect me enough. It’s been 6 weeks of not seeing each other. We messaged this week. He doesn’t get it…. His messages show he still doesn’t know what he wants. Yet, if I am totally honest, I hate how part of me wishes he would do a grand gesture/finally decide to be a better man. It’s delusional. It’s crazy how love can be so rosy, sweet & blinding that the red flags seem surmountable.

like

3 months post breakup… I seemed to be healing well and all the sudden this week I took a huge step back and feel heartbroken all over again. For context I was in a 4 year relationship including 1 year engaged and had to call my wedding off due to his infidelity. How can I shake this? 😔

like

Anyone with anxious attachment tendencies? Going through a breakup and I keep thinking about how I pushed him away and then am down on myself, replaying memories in my mind. At the end of the day, I think we were a bad match from the beginning and misaligned, but so hard not to beat myself over my anxious attachment during my relationship

like

I don’t understand how someone can lie about loving you for 6 months. We were together for almost a year (broke up a week before our anniversary). I said I love you first and he said it back. I asked for more reassurance last month with saying I love you more often. Now all of a sudden he said he didn’t know if he loved me and that love meant marriage for him. Okay well great thanks for telling me this now, 6 months after it was initially exchanged. I don’t understand how he could do that.

like

I hate that I still want to hear from him. I just have no idea what I want him to say or what I want to say. I feel like if I get anywhere near him he’ll be able to sense my pain. Are we sure the no contact rule is only 21 days? I feel like I need 21 months.

like

The biggest thing I keep running and running around my head- after 8 months, why did he drop me? When he texted ending it l….it wasn’t me, like we weren’t us, his words were from someone else, like I didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how much it wasn’t about me, how he chose to end it, and that’s what crushed me. Who I thought I knew was wrong. I want to know how close he was to loving me.

like

I hope he’s in as much pain as I am. The way he ended it was so cold and selfish and unlike how he was any other time with me. It was like a personality switch. I’ve never been so wrong about someone. I’m not sure how to process or recover from that part of it.

like

I ended my relationship of 6 years about 3 months ago bc he said he might regret not having kids later down the line. we were always on the fence but I’m leaning towards no. It hurts so much having to walk away from an otherwise perfect relationship. Wish this was easier…

like

TLDR: Getting over your ex of 2.5 years ghosting you after they said they wanted to reconnect.

I was dating someone for about 2.5 years and then we broke up because of COVID and the long distance was making it too difficult to continue. The break up must’ve been like a 4-5 minute FaceTime because I was very distraught. After we broke up, she started seeing someone else but I was heartbroken and it’s taken me over a year to really get over everything and process those feelings. (Cont.)

likehelpful

It’s week 5 for me of the breakup and even though I had a full and fun weekend with friends and people I love, I woke up today so so sad because I wanted to text my ex. I just feel overall so defeated and exhausted from sadness and unmotivated at work :(

like

As much as I know I need to go through this. Today - I just felt so lonely. I was clingy and needy to strangers and just want to make some sort of physical connection with a human.

like

Has anyone dealt with coming to terms with an emotionally abusive relationship? I struggle to admit this (because more drastic examples come to mind), but my therapist mentioned that things like yelling/throwing things/blocking me from leaving the room are also abusive traits my ex demonstrated. It makes me feel alienated from myself — like “how could I have allowed myself to be treated like that?”. Also feeling ashamed to tell anyone

like

Do you tell your boss you’re going through a breakup? I’m phoning it in and obviously going to be camera off for awhile.

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal