What do you do to feel anything?

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I know the feeling (no pun intended). I was depressed and anxious for years before getting formally diagnosed. Life felt like a drudgery. I could fake it on the outside (mostly) but inside was a wreck. Even suicidal at times (never made an attempt but thought about how I would do it - only thing that stopped me was not knowing how my kids would be taken care of by my toxic now ex-wife). For me, it took medication, years of therapy, and finally a divorce to regain the sense of self worth my ex-wife took from me over the course of many years. I am happier now than I’ve ever been and, yes, can finally feel something inside besides anxiety and despair.

Not sure what you’re going through, but I strongly recommend therapy and, if needed, medication. Get to the root of what is making you unhappy and take steps to change it.

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Thank you for sharing. I have been on antidepressants for a long time, since 2015 after I had a brain tumor in hs, and I'm in this weird content state, but in my history this is right before I have some sort of "break" and freak out, go to a therapist and get on more medication. I would really like to break the cycle and not do that, but don't know how. I need to find a hobby, friends, love interest, something. Inner peace. I dont know.

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I would recommend trying different things to do with your non-work time. Try something, hate it or be bored by it, try something else. But like, with detachment. It’s ok to not like something. It’s part of discovering yourself to see what you like and need. On top of therapy and meds and all the recommended steps. My husband went through being suicidal and divorce and medication and therapy and all that and now we are trying out different things to see what we like to do when we are not working. What kind of human beings are we when we aren’t human doings? TBD! Sorry you’re not feeling great. I know how it is to feel alternating lost/nothing.

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